5 Things I Wish I Understood Better Before I Got Married

We cannot understand certain things till we are practically living out the situation.

For example, a girl cannot learn how to be a good wife until she is a wife.

5 Things I wish I Understood better before marriage

That said there are a couple of things I wish I understood better before I got married.

A few of those areas;

5 things I wish I understood before I got married

1. Submission would be harder before it got easier

I remember asking someone “I’ve heard that marriage gets easier the longer you are married?”

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4 Things to Remember When Your Husband Disappoints You

I have talked about how my husband and I are different in our personalities.

What that means is that we have no shortage of opportunities to disappoint each other :)

When we moved to America, I had to take a driving test to get an American drivers license.

On the morning I was taking my test, I confessed to Tommy that I was very anxious because the last time I went for a drivers test in Kenya, it had been insanely hard, for a number of reasons.

4 things to remember when your husband disappoints you

What I was looking for at that point was comfort and affirmation from my beloved.

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36 Bible Verses to Encourage Your Marriage

Today I am sharing a couple of verses to encourage and strengthen your marriage.

The Bible says in 2 Timothy 3:16

“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work”

Your marriage will flourish when you know  – and apply – what God says concerning you and your man.

So I pray these verses challenge and “equip you for every good work” in your marriage!

36 Bible Verses to encourage your marriage


1. John 15:12 – 14

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3 Ways Helping Other Marriages Can Help Your Own Marriage

I’ve been looking at verses of Scripture on helping other people.

The following verses have stood out.

Hebrews 13:16
Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.

Learned: It’s possible to “discount” the good in my marriage. There’s always something good…but I have to be intentional about finding it and be willing to share it.

1 John 3:17
But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?

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4 Things You Must Believe For Your Marriage to Flourish

Long before I started writing this blog and for more than a decade, I mentored women – and a few good men;  together we grew in Christ.

Sometime back I was telling my husband how I was struggling to create products for sale because I’ve given my heart and passion away “for free” for so long it felt odd to start “charging” for it.

I am over that (if all goes well, my book comes out Feb 2015!) but I believe many wives experience the same transition-confusion after the wedding.

It’s not easy to switch from single-mode to married-mode.

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What I Learned About Marriage from Cooking African Food in an American Kitchen

I handed my upcoming book, Blues to Bliss; Creating Your Happily-ever-after in the Early Years to the editor three weeks ago.

As I wait for feedback and further edits, I’ve been creating some freebies to give away during the launch week (hopefully and if everything goes well, in February 2015)

Anyway writing the book and creating these giveaways has taken me way back to my early months of marriage.

And my early days in America.

What can cooking African food in an American Kitchen with American Ingredients teach you about marriage? Plenty, I found out.

Last week I came across this journal, where I wrote about the drama of making African food in an American kitchen with American ingredients! And 3 takeaways for life and marriage.

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When Your Heart Bleeds for Marriage. And How You can help.

If you had asked me three & a half years ago what I would be doing today, running a blog would not have featured in my top 3.

Consulting and training, making a difference in my world, traveling; that would have been up there.

But God. He has this amazing sense of direction. And humor.

Three years ago my husband and I uprooted our little life and marriage from Kenya and moved to the US.

At arrivals, 2011

Arriving from Kenya, BWI airport, in 2011

We were what you’d call “unwilling movers”.

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3 Reasons Your Husband is Not Mushy about Jesus

Months ago I attended a conference with many women in attendance.

In fact I could count the number of men present on my ten fingers.

Towards the end of the meeting, the conference convener talked about a future event she was putting together and how awesome it was going to be.

She put the awesome part in form of question

3 reasons your husband might not be mushy about Jesus

“Doesn’t (the event) sound amazing, aren’t you looking forward to it?” Or something close to that.

All the way from the back and seated right in front of me, a lone man let out his opinion..loudly and emphatically.

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5 Things that Limit Your Growth as a Wife.

“Everything that has life grows“, my pastor says.

These words ring true for marriage as well; that if our marriages have life, there has to be signs of growth.

5 things that limit your growth as a wife

If there’s anything I’ve learned teaching and mentoring wives, it’s that wives desire, nay crave, growth.

Wives don’t want to stress over the same things they were stressing about last year.

They want to praise more than they worry, trust more than they doubt.

They want to love better than they did yesterday.

But to grow in this way, we must overcome challenges, make personal changes and allow transformation to start from within.

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Help! I am Married to an Introvert! How to Work Through Personality Differences in Marriage

My husband and I are opposites in personality.

We have common core values and some of our personality traits converge.. but basically we are as different as light and day! :)

For those familiar with the DISC Personality Profile System, my husband is an introverted C/S and I am an extroverted D/I

Help! I am married to an introvert! How to work through personality differences in marriage

Snapshot of the  the DISC system

The acronym “DISC” is taken from the first letter of each behavioral trait

Dominant (D)

Influencing (I)

Steady (S)

Compliant (C)

As a D/I blend, I am a leader-type; direct, decisive, demanding, persistent, interactive, persuasive, sometimes-flighty, often lets-cut-through-the-chase type of person.

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