Is He The Right Guy For Me? {Part 2}

We continue with Part 2 of  the series “Is he the right guy?”

Please click here to read Part 1 (points 1 to 5)

9 Signs he might be the right man for me

6. He is nuts about me

Right from the start, Tommy was set to make me feel like the most beautiful, brilliant woman on earth.

The first time he pointed an accomplishment at work, I was astounded. “Really, you think so?He relentlessly mined for gold and I was astounded at who I was in his eyes.

The thing here is not merely telling a lady she is beautiful and smart and talented, it’s having her believe you! That’s love.

Is He The Right Guy For Me? 9 Thoughts

How will I know when the right guy comes along? ” is a common question among single women. I am familiar with this dilemma  because  I was once single and waiting.

Besides the obvious “God will tell you”, I wanted practical tips, some meat to the bone.

Most married women will tell you that what you see before the wedding, is what you get after the wedding. While we can grow and hopefully become better spouses after the wedding, you cannot (or let me say, should not ) marry someone based on that hope.

9 things to look for in a guy

What Is Permissible in the Married Christian Bed? 3 Thoughts

Before marriage, I had grand ideas about sex in marriage – how it would be great and flawless and breathtaking and wonderful all by itself. How my husband would bring all the fireworks, without much help or input from me.

I would learn, quickly, that a thriving sex life requires intentional effort from both spouses.

That stretching, learning, growing are hallmarks of a great sex life in marriage.

That marriage is for life, you are in it for a long long time. And if you don’t like the idea of perishing from boredom, you must open up to the idea that finding new oceans is good for your marriage. And any exploration will require leaving current comfortable shores.

Prayers For New Brides and a Giveaway!

A few months ago, I connected with Jennifer White. She was about to release her book Prayers For New Brides: Putting on God’s Armor After the Wedding Dress, about the same time I was releasing my book.

After launching my book, Jennifer graciously sent me a copy of her book..and I have loved it!

Because it touches on 3 of my favorite things, young marriages, wives, prayer!

Prayers-for-New-Brides-3D

Biblical help for the new bride

Prayers for New Brides is a treasure trove for practical, scriptural truth on how to start marriage right.

Dealing With Wounds From Our Upbringing

My dad passed away suddenly a few months before my husband and I started courting. Twelve months later, I walked down the aisle and became Mrs Otiende.

I was well prepared for marriage by my mentors, as well as any single girl can be prepared anyway.

But I did know how much my life before marriage, specifically my upbringing, would affect my life after marriage. Because as far as I was concerned, I had dealt with the  issues in my early adult years.

Dealing with wounds from our upbringing

Speaking The Truth In Love

I wasn’t going to write on the Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage.

I was bewildered when I first saw the news, but I thought “society will always get what it asks for“. Once the general society accepts certain things, it’s only a matter of time before those things gain legal recognition/legislation.

Not to say as Christians we should just crumble with a “it is what it is” attitude. No, we are a victorious church; as the world get’s darker, our light must burn brighter.

My Husband Is Not Loving

Does the world define your marriage? Is the world in your marriage?

Last week on my personal Facebook page, I shared how offended I feel when people say African men don’t know how to love wives.

My husband is not loving

“I get upset when people, particularly women, say “African men don’t know how to love or romance their wives. They can woo you but once they have you, that’s it.” Typically, I want to respond “it depends on where you got yours”

My Husband Cares, Just Differently

Most people marry their opposites and it was no different for my husband and I.

He’s laid back, I am more extroverted.

For a while, I felt like I cared more about our marriage because I am showy in my emotions and he’s not.

My husband cares, just differently

For me, romance in marriage was an impromptu dance in the middle of the living room, care was discerning my needs without being told, fun was hiking hills and exploring hardy places.

For my husband, caring is opening a car door for me, making a living and providing for us, it’s being thoughtful in gift-giving, willing (forcing) himself to cook, relaxing together in front of a water-body or fireplace.

Diffusing Marriage Tensions Before They Become Big Storms

“You are saying I have peeled bananas the “wrong” way my entire life?”

He nods his head “Yup”

“But I grew up on a farm, we planted bananas. You grew up in the city, you can’t possibly know which side is up or down!”

My husband is not convinced my farm girl background makes any difference.

He thinks I don’t know how to peel a banana. I start from the bottom instead of the top.

But I know he peels the wrong way!

And we are determined to convert each other to our truths.

Marriage Is Not About You

My husband and I seek God for Scriptures to anchor and power us through each year.

We don’t have a formula or a particular way of arriving at these verses. Sometimes a theme will begin to form towards the end of a previous year. God might speak to us individually and we confirm each others witness. A scripture might jump at us.

Sometimes we’ll have a confirmation from the outside, like the yearly theme of our church corresponding to what we already feel in our hearts. We also start the year by prayer and fasting and the discipline brings more clarification.