Intentional Today

What do you do when you no longer trust your husband?

Maybe he did something that chipped (or stripped) that trust.

Maybe you are suspicious of something and you don’t know how to bring it up.

First let me say that I have never been in a place where I lost all trust with my husband.

I’ve had moments, especially in the early days when I wondered if he still loved me or cared for me like he did before we were married.

If you are like me (you’ve been married a few years) you probably need some inspiration when it comes gift giving.

We might be early-weds but the birthdays and holidays and anniversaries add up pretty fast and take a toll on that creativity pool!

For me, last year was that year.

I could not come up with one single creative thing to give my husband for Valentines.

Being the no-fluff person I can be sometimes, I suggested we scratch the whole Valentines “thing” from our marriage.

Hebrews 13:4

“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”

Often when we read these verses we think defilement comes from the outside, and only in the form of sexual intercourse.

Flirting, putting another man ahead of your husband e.t.c can’t possibly count as defilement, we assume.

But defilement can be internal (originating from within us) and can be other things besides actual sexual intercourse.

When it’s internal, it can manifest as withholding sex as punishment for some wrong done. Or nurturing lustful thoughts towards other men.

I am so excited to release my book, Blues to Bliss: Creating Your Happily-Ever-After In The Early Years today!

I have poured my heart and soul in to this book and my prayer is that it will help change the dynamics of your marriage.

Why the book

I was only a few months married and I was ready to quit.

Not quit my marriage but quit working on our young marriage blues – the irritating, frightful challenges and stretches of new marriage.

I thought my husband and I were the only newlyweds who couldn’t see eye to eye on everything.

We miss the entire point of sexual intimacy in marriage when we start looking at it like a chore, completely disengaged in the mind and just another thing to cross off a long to-do list.

Sometimes, we don’t know we’ve engaged chore-mode until we hit sexual blues and start looking at the root of our issues.

God did not create sex for your husband alone. He created it for you too. You are supposed to enjoy lovemaking!

It’s not something you do for your husband; it’s something you do together and for one another.

I like this quote attributed to Ogden Nash:

“To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.”

Love stays fresh and exciting as we work hard at not soiling and muddying it up. Yet muddling things up is something we are all familiar with.

Many marriages abide in long seasons of hot fellowship because one spouse, or both couldn’t bear the thought of keeping quiet.

Take me, for example. I don’t like being misconstrued.

I like it when people know exactly what I think.

It’s that time of the year when we set goals and plan for the rest of the year.

For me, setting the tone for the year began a few weeks ago as I was praying over certain areas of my life.

I sensed God talking to me about things I normally don’t like to think about.

Areas that have got to do with why I do what I do and how my attitudes affect the outcome of my prayers and expectations.

Going Deeper

I’ve been blessed to know great people who speak into my life.