Months ago I attended a conference with many women in attendance.
In fact I could count the number of men present on my ten fingers.
Towards the end of the meeting, the conference convener talked about a future event she was putting together and how awesome it was going to be.
She put the awesome part in form of question
“Doesn’t (the event) sound amazing, aren’t you looking forward to it?” Or something close to that.
All the way from the back and seated right in front of me, a lone man let out his opinion..loudly and emphatically.
Hundreds of horrified female eyes swept his way.
You’d have heard a pin drop.
I thought I could see the speakers mind doing cartwheels “And that is why, Sir, I love to create events for women!”
When he’s not mushy
That event reminded me how different women and men are.
That guy was probably trying to be funny. Or honest. Or being a guy.
It’s got me thinking how in marriage we expect our husbands to be a certain way for Jesus. And how we struggle when they are not!
Recently I shared an update on Facebook that resonated with people;
I asked the wives,
“Are you feeling responsible for your husbands spirituality? You are passionate and effusive and he’s laid back and “not so into God”
Some nuggets (to remember). As ladies we are more relational and warm and we approach our relationship with God the same way. Guys on the other hand are not always effusive or mushy, but doesn’t mean they are not spiritual.
As a wife, don’t worry or try to control his relationship with God, leave him to be. Encourage and sharpen one another when there’s a slackening, but above all be a wife that prays over your man. Not one that tries to dominate his spiritual life out of fear.”
Let’s break down some thoughts and look at 3 reasons your husband might not be mushy (like you) about Jesus
1. He’s a guy, he relates differently
As a single girl, I couldn’t wait for the one sweet day when I could slow dance with my husband in our living room floor.
After the wedding and honeymoon, it was my #1 to-do thing. With arms around him and staring sweetly into his face, I asked for a dance.
His response was mortifying..in the end successfully wriggling out of my romantic notions.
At that moment I was convinced I had married the most unromantic man that ever lived.
Which was silly.
Because he wrote me love notes. handcrafted sweet cards. brought me flowers. cooked (his least favorite thing).
pulled out seats in restaurants. held out a hand on stairs and steps.
But he could not dance with me. That’s all I could see.
So, your husband. He has his gifts and a disposition when it comes to his relationship with the Lord.
And maybe like me, sometimes you have eyes fixed on the “wrong” place.
And maybe you need to start seeing what he is, not what he’s not.
He might not like to hold hands and “press through” morning prayer; he prefers to talk to God. He’d rather talk to one person than a whole roomful of people in Bible study.
Doesn’t make him unspiritual. Or a backslider.
It makes him different. And most likely, a guy.
Please read these posts for more insights
2. His wife is not enthusiastic about Jesus
I am not trying to lay anything on you.
But I’ve discovered that sometimes our men are not effusive about certain things because they live in a dry, zero-to-no-prayer-offered-on-their-behalf kind of environment.
No encouragement or support around them.
Think about it, as a wife you thrive when you planted in good soil.
You feel good when he’s proud of you and encourages you. You flourish when he covers you in prayer.
But if he’s always constantly in your space, never creating room or opportunities for your growth, you feel cloistered and stunted.
So while your husband is absolutely responsible for his relationship with the Lord, as his wife the Lord will hold you accountable for what you did with your influence as a Helpmeet.
You can read these posts for more insights
3. He doesn’t love Jesus
If you are married to a nonbeliever, he very well might not like Jesus.
I want to encourage you, don’t let your unequal yoking become the focus of your marriage.
I can’t begin to imagine the strain that comes with unequal yoking.
But I have read emails and talked to ladies married to unbelieving husbands.
And while it’s not easy, one of the things that has made a difference in their relationship is this; focusing on what they can control, not what they cannot control.
Changing their husband, making things different – you cannot control that. Accepting the Lord is a choice a person has to make for himself, with the help of the Holy Spirit.
But praying for him, honoring and respecting him, being a good example – that you have power to do.
1 Corinthians 7: 13, 14a says
And if a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage..
Please read this post (and forward it to a friend who needs it)
Questions: How have you dealt with “spiritual differences” in your marriage? Please share in Comments
Ps.Don’t forget to check in with me next Monday! I will update you about an event my husband and are planning for pastors and leaders in Kenya! Look out for your usual Monday mail (blog post) so you don’t miss a thing.
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