4 Simple Ways to Keep a Healthy Marriage as You Pursue a Dream

This is a guest post by Zechariah Newman.  More about Zechariah at the end of the post.


Chasing dreams and goals will either strengthen your marriage…or tear it apart.

Pursuing dreams takes a lot of time and energy and when we don’t make intentional efforts to stay united, we’ll diverge to separate paths.

4 Simple Ways to Keep a Healthy Marriage as You Pursue a Dream

For a long time I chased my own dream and did not involve my wife.

All I thought about was what I wanted to do and how I was going to do it.

It was all about my dream.

Not our dream.

One day as I was reading my Bible and God spoke to me.

“You’re selfish”

It was the word I needed to hear.

4 ways to chase keep your marriage strong as you pursue your dream

If you are wondering how to chase your dream and keep a healthy marriage at the same time, I’d like share with you my top 4 tips for chasing a dream and keeping a marriage together;

1. God first.

In keeping a healthy marriage, God comes before my wife.

When I seek Him first and ask what He would have  me do with my life, life is much smoother.

It’s the only way to chase a dream in a healthy way really – keeping God first.

Since I changed the way I approach dream chasing, the love I show my wife is limitless!

Because I seek the will of God and God will never ask me to put work responsibilities over the relationship I have with my wife.

2. Accept push-back.

One of the ways to unify in your dream is to talk about it.

If your spouse challenges your idea, it does not mean he or she doesn’t believe in you. (Click to tweet)

Let me repeat that for the dreamers out there.

Your spouse can have a differing opinion but still be supportive of the overall dream.

Our detailed plans and dreams need to be challenged.

Push back will help us see and work out potential problems we wouldn’t be able to see by ourselves.

And it’s a blessing to be “helped” by the very person who loves us and wants the best for us.

3. Cast a vision.

You need to explain the why behind the dream.

Too often I get excited about something and fail to tell my wife the why behind it all.

And so it ends up looking like

“I am going to write coach and speak full time. So I am going to wake up at five every morning. And I’ll be tired a lot!.”

Instead of

“I feel God laying it on my heart to restore more people. This is how we can do it and can you imagine the fun adventure and freedom we can have together.”

Casting vision is key!

4. Shut up.

This one is hard for me.

Once I started to dream and talk about the dream with my wife, I could not shut up about it.

So we were either struggling with not talking about the dream or not being able to keep quiet about the dream.

While it’s important to dream and cast vision, learn when enough is enough.

Give your spouse permission to help you and tell you when you are allowing the dream to take over your lives.

Cultivating oneness

When we take our vows on our wedding day, the bible says we become one.

This oneness however, does not just happen on this day alone and you never have to think about it again.

Oneness is something you continually cultivate through intentional actions and efforts in marriage.

So purpose to choose unity really early in marriage.

Use the early years of marriage to establish the principle of dreaming together and the rest of your life will flourish.

Question – How do you dream together with your spouse? How do you stay involved in each others dreams, supporting, encouraging and cheering each other on? Please share in comments below.

More about  Author: Zechariah Newman is a Figaro’s Pizza franchisee, writer, and speaker. He writes and speaks on finding your calling and restoring significance to your life. You can follow him on Twitter or Facebook.


If you would like to have Intentional Today delivered to your inbox, simply click here: Subscribe to Intentional Today (you will also receive a free copy of my eBook, Navigating Change). We can also connect on Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter.


Linking with Titus 2sdays, Messy Marriage, we are That Family, Wise Woman, Wifey Wednesday
  • http://www.messymarriage.com/ Beth Steffaniak

    Our senior pastor just returned from a 5 month sabbatical because he and his wife drifted due to “dream-burn-out,” Zechariah. So this really resonates with me. It’s not easy to balance the demands of both, but we must. And our marriages must always be the priority. I agree wholeheartedly with your guidance here, but I especially like “accept push-back.” Any dream must be one that you and your spouse form together or it will tear you apart. Thanks also to my sweet friend, Ngina. for sharing your words with us today!

    • http://zechariahnewman.com/ Zechariah Newman

      Thank you Beth! I have seen a lot of people burnout like your pastor, it can happen to all of us. My wife and I constantly have to reset and take a timeout because we have drifted on these 4 things. We just got back from two nights away to reset and evaluate. Thanks again for the kind words. Be blessed on your journey Beth.

  • http://danblackonleadership.com/ Dan Black

    My wife and myself often share our dreams and aspirations with each other. It allows both of us to strive toward them. Great post Zech!

    • http://zechariahnewman.com/ Zechariah Newman

      Thanks Dan.

  • http://tcavey.blogspot.com/ TCAvey

    This can be so challenging since both me and my spouse are so busy. One way we stay on the same page is through prayer time together.
    And sometimes, we have to push pause on our daily lives and just be together. Making sure we stay in love and not take each other for granted.
    People can either grow together or they will grow apart. The choice in direction is ours. But often we don’t realize we have drifted until it’s too late. That’s why it’s crucial to make time for each other. Being together helps ensure we are on the same page.

    • http://zechariahnewman.com/ Zechariah Newman

      So true TC. Nothing stays constant it is growing or dying.

  • http://betty-wiseheartedwomen.blogspot.com Betty Draper

    This was my favorite read today so shared it on my fb wall. Great points to take into considerations as we pursue our dreams.

    • http://zechariahnewman.com/ Zechariah Newman

      Thank you so much Betty! That means a lot!

  • http://sukofamily.org/ Caleb

    It can be so easy to feel that if your spouse has a different opinion that means she is opposed to you. It took me a long time to figure that out. Most of the time when she does have a different opinion there’s something there that I need to seriously take a look at and it usually ends with me changing my opinion too!

    • http://zechariahnewman.com/ Zechariah Newman

      So true Caleb. It is easy to take it personally. Almost every time my wonderful wife has really challenged me on something she has been right and I have been blind. God gave us a partner for a reason, its easy to forget that.

  • http://www.barbraveling.com/ Barb Raveling

    Great points, Zechariah. I know I have to be careful about #4. Even though my husband is very helpful with my writing in giving me critique and helping me discuss ideas, it would be easy to take advantage of him and ask too often. I try to keep it to a small amount so he doesn’t mind doing it!

    • http://zechariahnewman.com/ Zechariah Newman

      Me too Barb. I struggle with that point the most. Thanks for adding your thoughts;)

  • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

    Chasing your dream without your spouses support is a recipe for disaster. Having them can be the difference between success and failure.

    • http://zechariahnewman.com/ Zechariah Newman

      Very true Kimanzi. If its not together its a cheap imatation of the joy of dream chasing.

  • http://theregoi.com/ floyd

    Timely post. i think we often have that same selfish attitude with God as we do everyone else in life; we want them to support us without nurturing our relationship first. I’m guilty. I need to be mindful and this is that reminder for me. Honorable legacies aren’t built on selfishness.

    • http://zechariahnewman.com/ Zechariah Newman

      Amen Floyd. I think if we are all honest we all slide towards selfishness. I needed to recalibrate after writing this. Thanks for your comments.

  • http://zechariahnewman.com/ Zechariah Newman

    Thanks for allowing me to share with your audience;) blessings to you.

    • http://intentionaltoday.com/ Ngina Otiende

      Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us Zech, Appreciate.

      • http://zechariahnewman.com/ Zechariah Newman