When God wants to do a new thing in our lives (the thing we’ve been asking Him to do) He breaks it down and takes us back to the beginning.
He starts us again in an area, re-sets some of our thinking, obliterates an expectation.
Nonetheless going back and starting again when we’ve waited for sooo long feels like a slap to our sanctified souls.
“God I have made so much progress in my life already, why do I have to start again?”
“Why can’t you just bless and build on what I already have?”
“Why take me back to Kindergarten when I can just graduate college!”
Four Tips for Newly-Wed Wives
Here you are.
Prayed up and trusted God for a husband.
Here are 4 areas you need to die to and start again.
1. “I am always right”
Remember how you were always right in the single days?
Of course you weren’t but it was easy to walk away from stretching circumstances and disagreeable folks.
It was easy peasy for me.
Here’s the thing, you can’t brute-force your husband to work with your thoughts and opinions. (Share this) That wonderful man has his own ideas and opinions.
You can learn and grow together – but you can’t do that while sitting on your high horse.
Climb down, ease into the student’s seat – become an ardent student of your husband and marriage.
For only when you die, can you truly live.
2. “He has to be like my daddy” (or not)
I grew up in a home where men fixed things.
My dad built our house, repaired things, tinkered with the car, felled trees.
Did I mention he was a carpenter by training and passion? He was, complete with a buildings contractor profession.
I did not see how his passion and training connected to his skill and I just assumed all men were like my dad and brothers – they build and fix things.
Then I got married to a salesman son – city-born and city bred, without an ounce of ‘handyman’ in his veins.
My world turned on it’s head.
Do you have definitions of what constitutes “a real man”? Ideas and images you picked up from your upbringing and TV and society?
You can’t bring those into your marriage. You’ve got to empty out, present a blank slate for God and hubby to write on.
You can’t pour into an already full vessel, something has to give. And it can’t be your marriage, let it be you.
3. “I will grow up when I want to”
A group of geese will fly further when they fly in a V-formation.
Their combined flapping pulls them through the wind and a weak goose can tag at the end of the line, relying on the ones in front do to most of the pushing.
I am a last born of nine kids and it didn’t take long after the wedding to figure out I was lacking some essential life muscles. For years I had relied on the 8 geese, er siblings, in front to do most of the flapping.
Now whether you came into marriage all grown up or not, marriage will demand that you begin to grow up in areas you didn’t even know existed.
The earlier you begin to grow up, the better and sweeter your relationship will be.
Take personal responsibility for your growth.
Don’t try to grow up when you want to, do it anyway, especially when you don’t want to.
4. “It’s his fault”
Most newly wed (and olderweds) wives have all sorts of tender spots and pressure points – areas where a slight squeeze elicits yelps of pain.
The pressure points are not the problem though – we are all a work in progress.
It’s just that we tend to make a big deal of it because “he started it”
Yet here’s how God keeps count; our reactions and responses are purely our own responsibility.
Not our husband’s.
As long as you are blaming your husband for your reactions, you can’t change a thing.
His behavior might not be okay but his behavior and your response are two different things.
(I am still trying to wrap my mind around that!)
The way to a great marriage.
Here’s how Author Justin Davis puts it
“The way to an ordinary marriage is the path of least resistance. If you want an extraordinary marriage you will have to choose it“
What will you choose today?
Question – What other tips can you add? What is working in your marriage? Please share in Comments.
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