8 Things Your Husband Can’t get Enough Of

My dad was a strong proud African man and in my mind he was a rock; never needed anything from anyone, yet thrived and achieved great things.

At least from my position as a 9th born child, he did.

Put cattle rustlers to flight, prowled our farm at night and kept wild animals from the crop, donned a veterinary hat and wrestled bulls, was the go-to problem solver of the neighborhood, built our house from scratch and more.

And he did all that without a fuss. Or mush.

Kept his distance and not a whiff of softness.

8 Things Your husband Can't get enough of

And I brought that unconscious image to my marriage.

There were no cattle rustlers to chase down (thank God) but there was that leaky tap. A hole in my needy heart which needed an endless supply of affection and love.

Duties and roles to be fulfilled. Ability to give everything and need nothing much in return.

Crafting lasting bliss

If you’ve been married longer than a week, you might be laughing at me right about now. You’ve figured out early that your husband has needs. They might not be the same as yours – or as obvious – but they are there.

It takes a while in these early years to fully appreciate that lasting bliss is not built on air or re-living our pasts and comparing it to the present.

But from waking up and crafting our own happily ever after.

To create your lasting bliss (and obliterate those annoying honeymoon blues) here’s a few things to keep in mind regarding our husband’s needs.

I am not a pro at any of these (I think you’ve figured that out already), I am still learning how to meet his needs well. Hopefully you can add your own thoughts in comments.

8 things your husband can’t get enough of

 1. Your encouragement & support

People can say all kinds of nice things to your husband but no other opinion matters as much yours. (Click to tweet)

Most hubbies will not shout about this need from the rooftops and it’s up to you as a wife to discern the “times and seasons” - constantly seek to come alongside and live up to your name, Helpmate.

2. Your smile and laughter

Nothing makes a hubby happier than the ability to make his wife laugh and smile. I loved it when my dad walked around our sprawling compound whistling, it made me feel like the world was okay.

Lasting bliss comes from small things – laughing at his jokes, even when you’ve heard them a thousand times before. Smile and be a pleasure to be around. Be a sweet fragrance in your marriage.

3. Your body

‘nuf said :)

(*If you are in one of 25% of marriages with higher-drive-wife-lower-drive husband, this series of posts might help)

 4. Your prayers

I wrote about the power of prayer in marriage a few weeks ago. Read it here.

5. Your respect and admiration

Many things communicate respect and admiration to your husband and you need to learn his specific language. The bottom line; he needs respect as much as you need love.

6. Your mind

He wants to know, really know what’s on your mind without having to guess all the time. He needs your perspective, your wisdom and counsel. He needs his partner.

7. Your understanding

That he’s a man, he’ll never make a good girlfriend. That sometimes he needs a little man space and the assurance that when he gets back he’ll still find you.

8 Gratitude

He doesn’t have to do all the he does, doesn’t have to be all he is to you. But he’s chosen to be and to do.

God’s been working on my attitude genes lately. I was taking some things too seriously and life had become very hard and all I could see was the things that were not done.

So He’s been reminding me to count my blessings, not my troubles. (Psalm 103;1-2)

A spirit and attitude of gratitude can change everything. He doesn’t have to “deserve” it, doesn’t have to be a big thing. A “thanks for getting the milk, I know you had to go out of your way in that traffic” is a nice thing to say.

So there’s my 8 things!

There’s many more areas to step up as young wives (and by young wives I mean wives in the early years of marriage). So what other areas can you add? What areas do you need most reminders on? Please share in comments.


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Linking with Messy Marriage, we are That family, Wise woman, Wifey Wednesday, Fellowship Fridays, Growing Home, Titus 2sdays
  • http://howtotrainasuperhero.com/ Nykiah

    Love the thoughts here and the analogy of the tap. Very impressed to see men positively commenting as well!

    Blessings Ngina!

    • http://intentionaltoday.com/ Ngina Otiende

      Amen Nykiah, i am grateful for all the “amen” from men too! Thanks for dropping in and commenting

  • Nicole

    At first I rolled my eyes at this, the woman always pleasing her man and such but it’s really actually fantastic and realistic so thank you

    • http://intentionaltoday.com/ Ngina Otiende

      thanks Nicole, glad you enjoyed it :)

  • http://www.lifesallaboutlittleadventures.com/ Stephanie

    I really enjoyed this post. Respect and encouragement are so important!

    • http://intentionaltoday.com/ Ngina Otiende

      That’s true! Thank you for reading

  • http://www.lifeofasteward.com Loren Pinilis

    Straight up – #3 was pretty much about all I thought of when I read the title of this post. Gotta be honest!

  • Katherine

    32 years married and I still need reminding on occasions. Thanks!

    • http://intentionaltoday.com/ Ngina Otiende

      Thanks Katherine, glad to hear from 32-year veteran :) Thanks for sharing

  • http://www.lincolnparks.com/ Lincoln Parks

    Amen Ngina. You are correct with all of the above. My wife is so supportive of everything that I do. Even Though I make lame brain mistakes she continues to help fuel me with positive reinforcement. What a wonderful woman.

  • http://sukofamily.org/ Caleb

    Ngina, these are all right on the mark. I would have mentioned every one of them but you left out one big one, at least for me it is big. “Cooking”! My wife is great in the kitchen, I just can’t get enough of her cooking!

    • http://intentionaltoday.com/ Ngina Otiende

      oh I missed a big one!! :) Thanks for that, i may need to add it up there as a bonus point! :)

  • http://danblackonleadership.com/ Dan Black

    Yes, we do need all those things. I thrive when my wife encourages me and my dreams (which she does a lot). Great post!

    • http://intentionaltoday.com/ Ngina Otiende

      Thanks Dan and Amen!

  • Jennifer Clarke

    Great wisdom here! Simple but profound when applied. Thank you for sharing!

    • http://intentionaltoday.com/ Ngina Otiende

      Thanks Jennifer!

  • http://tcavey.blogspot.com/ TCAvey

    Great list.
    One thing I’m learning is not to push my husband into talking until he’s ready. And when he is ready, I need to be ready to listen.

    • http://intentionaltoday.com/ Ngina Otiende

      Wow, me and you could be sisters TC :) great revelation. thank you for the addition.

  • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

    Fabulous post Ngina, wow!

    • http://intentionaltoday.com/ Ngina Otiende

      Thanks Kimanzi :)

  • http://www.messymarriage.com/ Beth Steffaniak

    I think one thing that has helped my husband and I to grow close throughout the years is the gift of time. We make time to be together all day one day a week and carve out other times to be together daily. Great thoughts, Ngina! And I think you always reflect what all of us young or older brides tend to think and feel. Marriage is a crucible where God teaches us many things. Love to you, sweet friend and Merry Christmas!

    • http://intentionaltoday.com/ Ngina Otiende

      The gift of time, – that’s such an important one Beth! Thank you for sharing that. And Merry Christmas to your and yours!

  • http://theregoi.com/ floyd

    Excellent list. Pretty much just considering your spouses feelings in all scenarios is the place to start… and finish. Nice job and reminder, Ngina.

    • http://intentionaltoday.com/ Ngina Otiende

      Well said Floyd..great place to start and finish! Thanks, appreciate your words

  • Jessica

    This was fantastic. I’ve been married for six years and we have two kids and one on the way, so I don’t know that I’m still considered in my early years of marriage, but I really appreciated your post. Many of these things, I’m just learning or have just decided it’s time to master. Thanks for sharing over at A Wise Woman Builds. :) I’d love to have you come visit me at candleinthenight.com. :)

    • http://intentionaltoday.com/ Ngina Otiende

      Oh i think you are Jessica :) I’ve been married 5.4 yrs myself and still learning the ropes..i think we never stop learning..and when we think we have it pat down, there’s always another level.
      Thanks for the coming by and sharing, i will definitely visit your site!