Can I Love My Husband Too Much? {Public Letter to Myself}

I try to journal and keep a “Why I love my husband” list, which I store up on my Evernote. (you can read more on this good habit here and here)

I was making a new entry today when I glanced up the page and read something my husband shared a few weeks ago.

Can I love My Husband too much?

I laughed so hard (enough to worry the neighbors) and reached for my phone.

We back-and-forthed, my husband and I…lots of preposterous gooey stuff..before trying to get back to work.

“Is this for real?” I asked myself, a big smile plastered on my face.

And I expected a quick rejoinder “oh yeah, this is real!

But I was met with long deafening silence.

And then a cloud.

Marriage unfriendly moments

It wasn’t new, that shadowy cloud.

There are days it has manifested through words “you value marriage too much”, “you need to let go a little bit”.

Other times, a pause, a quizzical look.

(Amazing how little words can cut deep and unspoken words shout so loud?)

I love my husband so much my bones tingle. He’s absolutely the best thing to happen to me after Jesus.

But I am also young in marriage.

I don’t have nearly as good shock absorbers.

When people (including myself, through self- doubt) punch holes in my marriage, when stuff rains on my wedded bliss, sometimes I want to collapse.

Words hurt, lack of supportive frazzles. It create shadows, long shadows that linger long after the words have been said.

Letter to myself

Today, after laughing myself silly in our little study, all tingly about my man and our crazy life, as I brush away these dews of self doubt, I think about a private- but-very-public note to myself.

I make it public because I suspect you dear wife will have moments like today.

Moments when blasts of doubt and negativity will try to squelch your young happily-ever-after.

My private-public letter to myself

- It’s okay to love your husband until your sides hurt, to love him so much you think you are crazy.

- Always listen to the spirit behind the words you hear or read. And keep a guard over your heart, your eyes and ears.

- Sometimes there’ll be a lesson to catch; take the encouragement, cast out defeat.

 It’s okay to love your husband and enjoy marriage so much that you want to ask if you are normal.

Because you see, you live in world that does not understand what God-normal looks like.

You live in a world that does not understand extraordinary.

Here’s more truth:

Your life has changed for the better. You are guilty as charged; you are as happy as happy can be.

Your life is richer; the bible agrees – two are better than one.

You are happier, more fulfilled; cos the blessing of the Lord makes rich and adds no sorrows to it.

Sure you can work on affections and priorities (everyone has to, right?); keep Christ central.

But understand that God is not sitting in heaven waiting for you to mess up.

He is rooting for the success of your marriage!



Love that man. Love him better than you did yesterday.

Enjoy him, enjoy the gift he is. Keep God first and you’ll love, enjoy and ignite the gift and love in others too.


your saved slightly-more-balanced self

Have you been overwhelmed by God’s extravagance lately?

Giveaway winner
The winner of the African leather jewelry giveaway is Barb Raveling! Yay! Thanks to everyone who participated!


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Linking with Titus 2sdays, Growing Home, we are That family, Wifey Wednesday, Wise woman
  • Barb Raveling

    Love this, Ngina: “Love that man. Love him better than you did yesterday. Enjoy him, enjoy the gift he is. Keep God first and you’ll love, enjoy and ignite the gift and love in others too.” Makes me want to go and love my man!

    • Ngina Otiende

      haha, go Barb! :) :)

  • Beth Steffaniak

    I love that idea of keeping a list of the ways you love your husband, Ngina! I’m going to start that today! I remember hearing Greg Smalley talk about how his dad, Gary Smalley referred to a similar list he’d kept and wrote about his love for his wife just after he’d gotten into a fight with his wife. It brought perspective to him at a time when feeling the love was difficult. Thanks so much for sharing and I hope you have a great Thanksgiving!

    • Ngina Otiende

      Amen! i am so glad the post has encouraged you in that direction Beth! It’s such a great way to remind ourselves about the blessing our husbands are! And we do need the reminders, esp when the ‘love’ feelings go out of the window!

      And i love going through it and reminding myself all the things he is and has done. Cos i have a poor memory (i think most wives do..what with all the mile-long to-do and to-be list) The never ending list helps me keep perspective, stay thankful and in love!

      Happy thanksgiving to you and your family!

  • floyd

    Thanks for the reminder to be gentle… That’s something many men struggle with. It’s good to laugh and joke, but I can tend to go a bit to far. Your public and private letter speaks to all hearts. Thanks for sharing it.

    • Ngina Otiende

      You got a bit too far with the jokes too, Floyd? :) :) You and my husband are cut (i suspect, happily so) from the same cloth! :) :)