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If I Was to Do Honeymoon all Over Again, 5 Things I’d do Different

Ngina Otiende / June 16, 2013 / Life, Marriage, Personal Development, Single life, Success / Permalink

Honeymoon;

Def: any new relationship characterized by an initial period of harmony and goodwill

A common question asked to many newlyweds or soon-to-be-weds is “what are your honeymoon plans”

Nothing wrong with close friends and family wanting to know about honeymoon plans.

Nonetheless and beyond plans and places to go, I think one another great question a mentor or close friend can ask the couples is “What are your honeymoon expectations?”

Can you remember when…

Can you remember your own ideas and expectations?

How about post-marriage misconceptions and adjustments?

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Do You Struggle with Feelings of Inadequacy?

Ngina Otiende / June 12, 2013 / Life, Personal Development, Success, Values / Permalink

Early on, I struggled to teach intentional marriage and growth.

I felt like it was hypocritical, trying to teach others what I had not mastered perfectly.

The feelings of inadequacy were not new..

I gave my life to the Lord at a very young age; my “wild” teenage sins were listening to secular music and reading secular novels.

And for the longest time, I felt I had no real “testimony”.

I was born and bred in the country (and it doesn’t get more rural than African rural).

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Love is Fixing the Broken Things

Ngina Otiende / June 9, 2013 / Life, Marriage, Personal Development, Relationships, Success / Permalink

When a stressed out wife releases her stress or frustration in conversation, a husband’s most natural reaction is to try and fix the situation for her.

For a husband fixing her problem is just one of the ways he expresses his concern and love for her.

But for many wives and in moments of distress, “fixing” is not one of the ways they receive love.

I was reminded of this the other day when I asked my husband to look at a blog post draft I’d spent the day working on.

I approached my husband with

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Miracles Happen When You Share Your Dream (Keumbu Kitchen Project update)

Ngina Otiende / June 5, 2013 / Life, Personal Development, Relationships, Success / Permalink

Two weeks ago, I shared about a home dear to us: Keumbu Orphan Center and their need – a new kitchen.

Keumbu Orphan Center is in Kenya, Africa (more info at the end of the post)

As it happens after sharing the need, I expected things to go a certain way.

Again as it happens they didn’t. Infact everything – my plans, ideas, day – went south.

I feared and doubted.

But before long, it became clear that God was shutting me down - dismantling all my ideas and plans, bringing me to a place of complete reliance and faith in Him.

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Does a “Proverbs 31″ Wife exist Before Marriage?

Ngina Otiende / June 2, 2013 / Life, Marriage, Personal Development, Relationships, Single life, Success / Permalink

I recently came across a lively discussion on my friend‘s Facebook wall.

The discussion was sparked by this update;

“At times we gotta be realistic. The Proverbs 31 woman is seldom found in the girl you marry. She comes as a ‘potential’. Then as you nurture and nourish her, she gravitates towards that. No ready-made Proverbs 31 woman. I have never heard of such a one. They simply do not exist! My 2 cents.”

The words touched a nerve and set off a ton of comments.

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Do You Struggle to “Wait on God”?

Ngina Otiende / May 30, 2013 / Life, Personal Development, Success, Values / Permalink

I walked out of the bank and into the warm Kenyan sunshine.

I’d returned to the city the day before, after a 24 hour bus ride and 10-day mission trip to Rwanda.

I was bone tired, my heart was numb and heavy as I walked back to the office.

“Lord, why did bring me back to Kenya?”

The question looped in my mind.

I had just had my life and heart wrecked on the missions field.

I was not ready to go back to “life as usual”.

But heaven was silent that day.

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Teamwork in Marriage Makes the Marriage Work

Ngina Otiende / May 26, 2013 / Marriage, Personal Development, Relationships, Success, Values / Permalink

This is a guest post by Bernard Haynes. More about Bernard at the end of this post.

“Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” Amos 3:3

Are you married, but sometimes it feels you and your spouse are on different teams?

Does your marriage resemble a team in chaos?

Does it seems that you are spending more time fighting against one another than standing together?

Sacrificing personal glory

One of my pleasures in life is watching team sports.

It is nothing like seeing a group of individuals come together with all of their differences and nuances to work together in accomplishing a common goal.

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Why I was Afraid of Sharing Our Dream

Ngina Otiende / May 23, 2013 / Life, Personal Development, Success, Values / Permalink

My husband and I dream about changing lives in Africa through ideas, enterprise and meeting needs.

One month ago and in an interview with David Sparks (for first time time since moving to America), I shared about this dream in public

You can read the full interview here.

Talking about our dream made me realize just how apprehensive and scared I had been all along.

Why was I afraid of sharing our dream in public?

Image from Afritorial.com

That picture right there.

I was scared of being labelled and dismissed as “yet another African with a begging bowl”

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Leadership & Submission: When One Spouse Won’t do their Part

Ngina Otiende / May 19, 2013 / Marriage, Personal Development, Relationships, Success, Values / Permalink

Two weeks ago I wrote about submission in marriage, specifically what it’s not.

Last week we looked at a husband’s role in marriage which is to provide loving leadership.

God intended for submission and leadership to work together.

However some spouses have neglected their God-assigned responsibilities and many marriages are flying on one wing.

For the spouse that has embraced their role (and are desperate for their spouse to embrace theirs), the following thoughts are important to consider;

1. You cannot change your spouse.

I used to think that if I tried hard enough, I could change my husband. (And he’s an awesome man, just so you know).

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Feeling Stretched? 4 Ways to Stay Motivated

Ngina Otiende / May 15, 2013 / Life, Personal Development, Success, Values / Permalink

I wrote this post a few weeks ago. Life has calmed down somewhat since then. But I thought I’d share the article anyway.

I’ve been struggling with motivation lately.

Whenever I have a lot on my plate, my passion and drive takes a hit. I struggle with focus. I slip into randomness and mindlessness. I bug my sweet husband. I eat.