Sometimes we need simple creative ideas on how to love our husbands better!
A few weeks ago, I wrote on 36 secrets to creating an extraordinary marriage and today I want to share a few practical tips on how to express love to your husband today.
Before we go on, let me emphasize that these are only ideas; some might be a hit, others a miss, because marriages are different. What works wonders for one husband might irritate another to itty bitty pieces.
My hope is to encourage you to think outside the box. In fact, my prayer is that as you read this post, other creative concepts, specific to your marriage, might drop into your spirit.
John 16:3 says “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth.” God has worked wonders in my marriage when I opened up to fresh possibilities.
Here they are, 3 ideas to showing love to your husband today + 17 practical tips!
1. Educate yourself. Buy a book.
How does educating yourself have anything to do with loving your husband today, you might ask.
Well, it’s about education. Your education. We don’t get better until we know better. While I have learned a lot from my mentors, I’ve learned much more through self-education.
Why do I do what I do? What does God’s Word say about my attitudes, my feelings, my fears? It’s no use doing stuff to express love to my husband if I am not trying to get better as a person.
He needs a better woman, not just a woman who knows how to do things better.
For some of us, we need to lay off “doing” and heartily embrace “being”. Your husband and marriage will benefit from your spending time with the Lord more than your spending an entire day planning an elaborate dinner date.
Nothing wrong with a dinner date, but foundations are more important.
So pick up a book. Especially The Book (Bible.) As far as general books are concerned, it doesn’t even have to be on marriage; read books that feed your soul and help you become a better woman.
Here are a few other excellent reads;
And of course, there’s my book Blues to Bliss: Creating your happily ever after in the early years.
2. Study your man. Give gifts he appreciates
A few years ago, I went all out and planned a surprise for my husband.
It was completely out of my comfort zone and I struggled to perfect it but I was excited and sure it would be a hit in my marriage (because the author of the article said it would be).
Short story, it backfired. Big time. I was upset and frustrated because I had put a lot of effort to it.
Moral of the story – do yourself and your husband a favor and learn his love language! Give him something he will appreciate instead of forcing a gift down his throat.
Heard of the saying, “it is not the gift but the thought that counts?” Here is one of those places where the gift and the thought count.
If you need help deciphering his love language, here is an info-graphic explaining everything (click the highlighted link).
3. Bless him without expecting anything in return
It’s easy to keep tabs on who is doing what in a relationship. This is especially true if you feel like the “grown-up” in your marriage.
Obviously it’s important to have a chat and work towards harmony and wholeness but I am addressing normal marriages; imperfect unions with two growing individuals.
We learn quickly that a strong love includes letting go of the who-did-what-list because our ministry in marriage is first and foremost to Jesus.
“Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance.” Colossians 3:23
My mentor put is like this;
“Always give (your marriage) your all. You are doing it for God and He is the one who rewards, and He is not stingy”
One of the most liberating things you will do for your marriage is to learn how to give without strings attached.
We do so much as women (and so do our guys but God did not endow us with the ability to kick back into a “nothing-box“) and it’s easy to complain since our lives are so interconnected.
This small adjustment of mind can make a biggest difference in your marriage.
Finally, here is a list of seventeen things you can do to bless your guy today.
1. Pick up his chores today, or this week, and let him relax.
2. Initiate intimacy. Surprise him
3. If he’s the lower drive spouse, give him a massage, or a back rub. (Even better, ask him what he’d like)
4. Switch off your gadgets and give him your full attention
5. Ask about his day. (Tip: You can start a “high/low” conversation at the end of your day, where both of you share your high points and low moments of the day. My husband and I just started this habit and it’s amazing because you feel like you’ve checked into each others life. It’s more specific than the general “how was your day?”
6. Write him a love note, tuck it in his shirt or send it via email. (Note: women love romantic words but not all guys appreciate sappy love notes. At least not as much as the woman who send it! Express your love and appreciation in guy-speak; be specific, real and honest, connect to his manhood)
7. Tuck encouraging verses of Scripture under his pillow, drawer, lunch box. If he travels, tuck it somewhere in his suitcase
8. Take a sweet/sexy picture of yourself and send it to him during the day (I don’t mean clothes off because we all know the internet. Just be creative. A come-hither pose. Wearing his favorite make-up and dress. Blowing him a kiss. Peek of a knee. Just give him something to think about!)
9. Tell him what you appreciate about him today. Look for the perfect moment to say it; when he can really hear you and appreciate it.
10. Start a “why I love my husband list” and share it with him once in a while
11. Ask him what you can pray about. And pray! Every now and then, remind him you are praying for him.
12. Ask about his work; listen and ask thoughtful questions.
13. Plan a date with his preferences in mind.
14. Celebrate with him about a work achievement.
15. Sing him a silly song. Childhood songs are the silliest and most fun. Tip: look for celebratory songs, go the whole nine yards. It might feel silly but deep down we love to be exuberantly celebrated and the fun is good for your souls.
16. If he loves watching sports, watch a full game with him, without falling asleep! Ask questions about the game, about what you don’t understand
17. Take him on a mystery date; it can be as complicated or a simple as you want it to be. From a simple date in the park to watch the sunset, to a more complex scavenger hunt around town.
And that is my 3 tips + 17 practical ideas to loving your husband today! What can you add to the list? How do you show love to your husband? Let me know in Comments!
Have you heard? My husband and I are partnering with a church in Kenya to host a Community Outreach and Marriage Conference! We would love for you to pray and partner with us! Visit our Missions page to donate/find ways to partner!
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