Honeymoon Def: any new relationship characterized by an initial period of harmony and goodwill
A common question asked to many soon-to-be-weds is “what are your honeymoon plans”
Nothing wrong with the question but I think an even better question for the couple should be “What are your honeymoon expectations?”
Because the goodness of our plans often lies in the soundness of our expectations.
Can you remember your own ideas and expectations?
How about post-marriage misconceptions and adjustments?
Do you sometimes look back at some situations and ask yourself “What was that all about?!”
Perhaps you were anxious and flustered about everything, only to have a sweet peaceful honeymoon. Or you expected smooth waters only to face churning waters.
Well, here’s what I would change if I was to do honeymoon all over again..
1. I would take a hint and try to stay instep with my husband
I recently shared how I struggled to keep in step with my husband on our wedding day.
If honeymoon could be done all over again, I’d try and see that event for what it was; an introduction to the passions and complexities of the one-flesh journey.
And beyond complexities, I’d try to understand that not agreeing with my husband did not mean I was awful and unwifely. Just a sinner who said “I do”.
2. I would not be so worried about a honeymoon getaway
My husband and I didn’t have money to go away for a typical honeymoon.
If I was to go back, I’d advice my newly-wed self that spending the first week of our married life in our sparsely furnished apartment was an awesome blessing.
After all, every honeymooner goes back home, back to real life. While temporary honeymoon getaways are great, the real stuff is in creating lasting marital bliss.
3. I would not try to scrub down the house (his ex- bachelor pad) the day he returned to work.
And get depressed when he failed to notice my hard work.
Building a marriage and a home is journey, not an event.
It takes a lot of grace, being sensitive, patient and accommodating of one another.
So I’d try and understand how “Babe, I scrubbed the house till my back gave out” might not be taken kindly.
4. I would try and understand that our first fight was not the end of our marriage
In spite of a sturdy choleric heart, I am an emotional ball when it comes to conflict with my beloved.
I love feeling in love with him, being at peace with him.
If I was to go back to those early months, years, I’d tell my sweet self that being a peace maker and a peace keeper are two different things.
I’d encourage our relationships towards peace making; facing up the hard stuff, working on them intentionally.
But I’d extend more kindness to us, understanding that we were fresh off Singles Avenue; one-flesh thinking would take time.
5. I would forgive him when he turned out different than I thought.
I scare easily.
But once in a while, my husband loves to give me a good scare, especially in the dark.
He pulled off a huge one about a month into marriage and I’ve never forgotten about it.
I was miffed and upset for days. I wondered what kind of a man I married!
Looking back now, I’d try and understand that I married different.
And different is okay. Different spices up life.
Different lifts up one when the other is down. Different makes us grow. Different makes us need God.
Your turn; What funny (or not so funny) things did you worry about in early marriage, but which turned out okay? Lets chat in comments!
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