I grew up on the farm and as kids my sister and I would sometimes plant a little onion garden.
I remember racing her to our little onion patch to check on their progress; and excitedly holding up uprooted batches to check on the length of tiny roots.
We were not the smartest farmers on the block and it was a while before we figured that our “close-up” monitoring – uprooting and replanting the onions- was messing with their growth.
Sabotaging our growth
Last week I was fussing and stressing about a certain situation when God reminded me about the onions – they shriveled up and died because we could not let them be.
Right now I have some seeds on the ground but I am poking and pricking and disrupting the process of growth.
Isn’t that how we sabotage our growth in marriage sometimes?
We start out with good dreams and intentions – we put the right seed into the ground.
But all too soon we start digging around and checking for signs of growth.
Of course there are no visible signs of growth yet, no change in behavior.
The socks are still on the floor. He still hasn’t figured out our love language. The financial situation is the same.
And we nag and fuss and compare and fight and stress out.
And we can’t understand why we are not growing.
Marriage gardening lessons
Most of us, whether one year married or twenty years in, could do with some “marriage gardening” lessons.
Where we learn to put seed to the ground and then step back and allow nature to takes its course.
Absolutely water seed – keep hope alive, do our part and keep on growing
But temper our expectations and quit messing with the process – the nagging, the fussing, the comparison, envy and jealousy, the rage and anger.
We are curious by nature; we’ll always want to help and aid the process of growth (remember our name – Helpmeet?)
And so there’s only one way to stop the short-circuiting.
Through staying close the Master Gardener.
Only God can still our impatient hearts and eager hands.
Back in the day and if we’d asked our mum for a little gardening advice, we’d have reaped good child-sized harvest of onions.
But we never asked and so we messed up.
God is trustworthy
Being the Author of marriage, God is trustworthy.
He knows the ins and outs, the details and intricacies of your marriage.
We don’t have to understand what’s going on under the hood.
We can trust Him with the process.
Go ahead and plant according to His instructions.
But then don’t take off after the seed hits the ground.
Stay in His presence. Continue to seek Him for your one-flesh journey. Let Him teach you how to wait and wait well.
Question – What areas are you most tempted to “uproot” and check on progress? How do you wait well in your marriage?
Struggling to see growth in your marriage? I wrote Blues to Bliss: Creating Your Happily Ever After in the Early of Marriage Years for the newlywed and early-wed wife who longs for a great marriage but struggles to cultivate the important mindset necessary for a thriving marriage. If you are an imperfect girl married to an imperfect guy, this book is for you! Click here to find more information, including the purchase links.
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