This is a guest post by Ciruu Kiniti. More about Ciruu at the end of the post.
I recently attended a married friend’s baby shower and as expected, the shower was honored by the presence of many married women.
Only myself and a friend I had dragged along, were single moms.
As I listened to the married women experiences, it came out that most of them had their husbands at the hospital for delivery.
I found myself wondering if they knew how fortunate they were to have their husbands with them at that very vulnerable, yet very miraculous moment.
(Some even had their mothers-in-law with them!)
At that point in the shower I found myself transported back 7 years ago to my own experience.
My experience was quite different to what these women were talking about.
Alone, scared and almost overwhelmed by circumstances I found myself on that hospital bed anxiously waiting for what was about to transpire.
You see, unlike my friend no one had told me what to expect.
Because my journey was riddled with battles of getting pregnant in church and unwed.
I did not have a spouse to hold my hand as I lay there staring at the ceiling in between contractions.
That being my first child I desperately longed for someone to be there with me.
Do they know?
Do they even know how honored they are? I asked myself as I listened to them.
They talk as if its an entitlement and a right.
But right here the Holy Spirit arrested my heart.
He gently reminded me that these women were entitled to having their spouses with them through the process.
You see as a single mom it is sometimes very easy to think that the married woman has it better than you.
Oh the many times I have had that thought!
I have often asked myself if “these women” really knew how blessed they were to have men in their lives.
For a long time I battled with feelings of envy and a constant wish of “if only they knew how hard it is for us single mums”.
I haven’t had the opportunity of interacting with many married women, maybe because I feel drawn to my own kind.
Or maybe sometimes I feel that they won’t “get me”.
But at that shower the Holy Spirit quieted my spirit and allowed me to see things from their perspective.
The married woman reality
Married women have their own challenges too; they juggle being mothers, wives, friends and lovers.
They have to pay detailed attention and learn how to balance their children and their husbands and the daily life.
Me-time is as rare and foreign, as it is to us single moms.
That day, as I sat there and listened to their experiences, I realized that the presence of their spouses might have been comforting (well to some).
But the honest truth was the birthing experience was the same as it was for me, the single mom.
So to the married women out there here is a single’s mom salute to you; I do not know how you do it but by the grace of God!
Do I feel more advantaged than the married woman? Of course not.
The Holy Spirit used that baby shower to demonstrate to me that no one is at a “better” place than the other.
We all have challenges at different levels and while one may think the other has it easier, it’s not necessarily true.
Single moms have the grace to carry them through.
Just like married women have sufficient grace to carry them through.
As always, let’s learn to run our race till we see His face! 1 Corinthians 9: 12
Question: Do YOU believe His grace is sufficient to carry YOU through every situation? Please share your thoughts and experience in Comments.
About Author: Ciruu Kiniti is a single mum, who is passionate about running the race God has called her to run. She is passionate about encouraging older singles and single mums to live life by God’s design with emphasis on purity and a daily focus on Jesus. Visit her blog for more inspiration and encouragement.
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