My husband lost his job 4 months after our wedding.
I was also unemployed at that time, having left my employer of 7 years three months to our wedding.
For many months as newlyweds, we tried our hand at various things to make ends meet.
Some of you reading this have experienced (or are going through ) job loss or business struggles and failure.
Financial challenges can be hard on early-weds because they have not laid a strong foundation for the marriage yet.
As a wife and when your husband has lost his job, you may find yourself battling some of these feelings and emotions;
The situation might feel permanent, like it will never end.
You have faith. But some days it’s just “not there”.
You feel frustrated
At one point I remember thinking “he’s the man, he should have figured out this thing by now”
Not very sanctified thoughts, I know.
As wives we are so wired for that cover and that need will sometimes out-beat all reason and sense.
You are mad with God
Why us? Why now? What have we done wrong?
Envious about others who aren’t struggling
You have many plans and ideas and many of them require financially stability.
When others do effortlessly what you can’t do intentionally, envy will try to take root.
What to do instead
If you are going through hard financial times in your marriage right now and instead of dwelling on the above, here’s something you can do instead.
1. Pray for your husband
God is your provider, not your husband.
So go to God. Take your (plural) needs to the Lord.
And not just the obvious needs like a new job or a business turn around.
But the deeper ones which might not feel so urgent, like wisdom and courage and strength and favor and encouragement.
There’s so much power in prayer, power in immersing yourself in God.
Without it you’ll be overcome by fear and anxiety. You’ll be making demands on your husband, demands that he can’t meet.
More on hearing God in difficult situations in this post. (Click the link)
2. Give extra grace.
Chances are your husband is not his usual self.
He’s moody, in low spirits, not as loving or patient or jovial.
I am not suggesting that he has a free pass in this season, a good marriage is work, 24/7/365, no matter the season.
But I am proposing that you minister love and make your lives easier by not taking everything personally.
Try not to be irritated by every little thing he does or does not do. When he doesn’t have a smile of his own, give him yours. Better still, top it off with a kiss.
Just be easy. You’ll bring out the best in him when you extend grace, not when you dwell on what he’s not.
Read this post on how to go the extra mile in marriage.
3. Think of other ways to bring in extra income
If you are not working, you might want to think about other ways to bring in extra income.
Think outside the box.
Can you babysit, house-keep for others?
By the time my husband lost his job, I was volunteering full time at a Christian organization.
When he lost his job we had to stop and reorganize – I left the organization and started a small business from home.
If you have an entrepreneurial spirit, think about things that wouldn’t cost much to start. (My little business cost $5 to start).
They key thing here is to think outside the box.
4. Curb your spending (and watch your mouth too)
Adjust your spending habits and do with what you have, even as you trust God for more.
Also curb your mouth.
As women we dream with our mouths wide open.
We have big plans and lots of ideas and sometimes we don’t realize how our endless verbalized longings affect our husbands, who are already feeling the pressure to provide.
It’s okay to dream, just be sensitive and wise. Don’t ooh and aah over all the things you don’t have. Even if you end your ‘salivating’ with “someday when we have money honey…”.
Be gentle and sensitive.
5. Continue to give
Heavens math is very different from our math.
Here we like to hold on to what we got because we think one plus one equals two.
But God thinks one minus one equals more. He likes to give to open hands, not hands that are grasping stuff.
And we are not talking about money only.
Think about your time, your gifts and talents, what you have in your house. I didn’t have any money to give as a newly wed but I had clothes.
The thing is, there’s always something you can give if you look hard enough. Giving takes your eyes off yourselves, it gives you a God-sized vision and perspective.
So don’t just think about money, think outside the box and purpose to continue being a channel, not a reservoir.
6. Encourage your husband
Your husband is probably more frustrated than you are.
He is feeling it more than you can imagine.
Purpose to be that peaceful oasis in his life, an encourager and blessing.
7. Understand “this too shall pass”
You will have good days when your faith is up and down days when you wonder where God is at.
Just keep going.
Dig deep into His word, pray and keep moving forward.
Take it a day at a time. Don’t try to figure out the rest of your life.
8. Accept help if it’s there but…
Accept help if it comes but don’t allow the “help” to run your life.
Sometimes people want to help but their help comes with strings attached.
Don’t sacrifice your marriage for ‘help’.
So there’s my 8 thoughts on what to do if hubby loses his job. Have you ever walked through job loss? How did you navigate? I would love to hear your thoughts in Comments below
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