One of my biggest pet peeve as a single girl was the question;
“Sooo, when are you getting married?”
I heard it from colleagues, some friends and family, even strangers.
And things haven’t change since I got married..
Single women still get asked the same question and it’s variations “Why are you not married yet?”, “What, you don’t you have a boyfriend?! At your age!”
Today I’d like to share some of the things I wanted to tell everyone back then 🙂 And what I think many single women want to tell those that repeatedly ask.
Fair warning; it’s a little rant-y
Why you should should stop asking me when I am getting married.
1. I am asking myself the same question.
You are not being very helpful here.
2. I cannot control the other part aka Mr husband.
I can’t make a man marry me. ( I know some women try but I am not one of those).
A guy needs do what a guy should do; show up, woo and marry (with mutual consent of course)
Ps. maybe we should start asking the guys why they are not married, not the girls.
3. I know all about the biological clock because I hear it ticking.
But I also understand God gave me the “clock” and He’s well able to keep it ticking till He brings the man and the children.
Children need a father. I am not planning to add to the fatherless generation, just so I can beat a silly clock.
*silly, when you look at it from the big scheme of things.
4. I don’t have a sell-by date.
Trying to hook me up with shady characters and sly fellows does not communicate your concern or love.
It has the opposite effect; makes makes me feel like I have an expiry date. And the date has come and gone.
As a Christ-centered lady I understand my worth and I am rooted in Christ.
But I am also flesh and blood and have desires and longings.
You parading and flashing these guys isn’t helping me wait well.
5. I don’t need to be reminded.
I attend weddings, hold bridal showers and baby showers.
I have scars from a broken heart.
I stay up late with God talking (and crying) about it.
I don’t need to be reminded about what I am “missing”.
Mostly I need a salve, some laughter..a little encouragement that being single is okay.
6. Just because I am of marriageable age does not mean I have to have a boyfriend.
Look, husbands come from God. You don’t pick them up off the streets (there’s a name for those who do and that’s not this lady) and take them home.
I want a boyfriend who will hopefully and as God leads become my husband.
In the meanwhile I don’t intend to whirl away time with some random guy.
Too precious, too loved for that. Give me Jesus. And a steaming cup of tea.
7. I love my life as a single.
Shocking eh. I have pillow hugging days and times I hang off my bathroom walls with an unending ache in the pit of my gut. Or heart, I can’t tell.
But it’s not everyday. Most days I am enjoying the freedom, the bliss that comes with singlehood.
I enjoy the ability to chase hard after God without thinking about “family obligations”. I see how married women juggle everything; babies, husband, home, ministry, work et cetera.
I am like “Phew, thank you Jesus!”
I know someday it will be my turn but for now, I am enjoying my life to the max.
Ps. I know many people mean well and they are not trying to make me feel bad. But well meaning words don’t always feel..good. So just being honest here.
Question: What can you add? If you are single what questions do you enjoy not hearing? As a married how can we better encourage the singles in our lives?
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