Will You Marry Me? The Commitment Test in a Proposal

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Popping the question, “Will you marry me?” is a big deal.

In the past couple of weeks, I have seen four young leaders I’ve mentored and coached for years enter into courtship/engagement.

I’m very excited for them.

I’ve watched them grow spiritually and mentally; particularly one, from a somewhat timid girl to a courageous young woman.

Will you marry me? Commitment is a word many fear, not because they hate to but rather are afraid of failing in the process. Here's what it means to commit

Their decision to start a journey of a lifetime is laudable. Ok, I know they’ve only started courtship so maybe I shouldn’t get carried away.

But I have high hopes for them and I’m confident they will do well.

Because commitment is a word many fear, not because they hate to but rather are afraid of failing in the process.

Take my four friends for example.

Popping the question, “Will you marry me?” was a big deal for the men. It took courage. The ladies involved could have said no. But the possibility of rejection did not deter the guys.

True love is indeed audacious.

Beyond Will You Marry Me, Marriage Is Spelled C-o-m-m-i-t-m-e-n-t

Jeff Goins, in his book Wrecked, talks about how our adolescent culture continues to encourage more adventures and less commitment.

Now, there’s a place for both.

But sadly, the adventure tendency remains an increasing trend in marriages across many cultures today. Some even boast, “You can quit when you’re fed up”.

Not so!

I recently read on Twitter: Marriage is spelled c-o-m-m-i-t-m-e-n-t.

After 3 years of marriage, I can confirm that’s true.

“Will you marry me?” is a question God intends to wreck your life, for good. If you’re married, you will know this to be true. But, it must be followed up with commitment.

Fear Meets Grace

Ah, the fear of commitment!

Yet, if God is in the decision boat with you, you need not fear. Truth is, you will never be 100% ready for marriage. You cannot tick all the boxes.

I remember when we began our own journey to marriage; I wasn’t fully ready but God was. After 3 years, He’s still working and I’m still learning.

Sometimes I’m slow, other times I get it.

But my fears have met His grace.

You too can allow His grace to settle your fears.

Will you marry me? Commitment is a word many fear, not because they hate to but rather are afraid of failing in the process. Here's what it means to commit

Marriage and God Moments

Marriage is full of God Moments:

moments you discover you’re so inadequate and God is more than enough for both of you
moments you realize you don’t deserve the wife or husband God has blessed you with
moments you ask yourself, “How do you do it, Lord?”
moments God blows you away
moments of sheer joy and pain
moments you learn to shut up
moments you learn to speak up
moments you yield and let the other have their wish
moments you laugh and cry together
moments you convince yourself “It’s OK to lose an argument”
moments you have little and need to cut your excesses
moments when doing right becomes more important than being right
moments you must fight for the sanity of your marriage
moments you must defend your partner despite his shortcomings
moments you ask yourself, “Was this this man or woman I fell in love with?”
moments the bills keep piling up and income is not looking like it would cover outgoings
moments you decide saving for your children’s future is priority over your convenience
moments everything seem to be going wrong
moments it all starts to come together and everything begins makes sense again.

So knowing this much, “Will you still marry me?”

Marriage is not without pain.

It comes with many surprises. Commitment is not without a cost. But it’s a price worth paying for a life worth living.

Question – If you’re married, what advice would you give to those about to commit to starting the journey of their lives? If you are single, what thoughts/questions would you have? Please share in Comments.

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About Author: Joseph leads on purpose and is passionate about raising the next generation of leaders. He is the author of 3 books: SELAH – a 90 day day devotional,  Even in the Well and a free eBook Lines of Impact. He lives in Germany with his wife and daughter. You can connect with him on Twitter @J_Iregbu, and his JosephIregbu.com.

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Photo by Maria Lindsey from Pexels

32 Comments

  1. Pingback: What's Important to You? | Joseph Iregbu | The Story of Hope
  2. Great readings, am glad God can use people like you, to speak to us
    Am so glad i read this today

  3. Pingback: Forgive | Joseph Iregbu | The Story of Hope
  4. Omoregie Obi says:

    Thanks for sharing.

  5. davejarnold16@gmail.com says:

    Great post, Joseph. It’s so true: There are many God moments in marriage. He use marriage to make us less selfish and more like Him.

  6. Take time for each other, regardless of bills and kids and other things that get in the way. Be sure to continue to make each other a priority.

    1. When we gave birth to our Isabel Juda, one of the best counsel I got came from a friend. He said exactly what you’ve just said: “don’t let the new child stop you from being husband and wife. Make time for each other”. He was speaking from experience because his marriage was a victim of not heeding that advice. This is a powerful advice, Tammy. God bless you.

  7. Pingback: Will You Marry Me? | Joseph Iregbu | HopeGiver
  8. Lots of good advice. I would add, don’t assume your husband knows what you need or feel. You need to communicate this.

    1. Same goes for men too. I make too many assumptions and it turns out assumptions don’t help our relationship and my wife doesn’t like that 🙂 That’s a perfect one, Eileen.

  9. Great post! I would say don’t settle for an average life or marriage. To encourage each other to become better people and be moving toward their dreams and potential. Both my wife and myself inspire each other to do great things.

    1. Thanks Dan! Average is a purpose killer and I’m glad you’ve made the connection to marriage too. Inspiring each other is crucial. It takes work but adds lots of fun to the relationship when done in a God-centered manner.

  10. Excellent post. If I were to give advice to a person involving marriage, I’d tell them to not settle. Pray, expect great things, but be ready to wait on the Lord. It isn’t a gamble, it is your life. Don’t “wish” for the best, leave it in God’s hands so that the human element of gambling will be taken out of the equation.

    1. Wow Floyd, that’s deep. ‘Expect great things!’ I love that. Thanks friend. Putting God in the center saves us lots of unnecessary heartaches.

    2. Thanks for the advice Floyd!

  11. Focus on loving and respecting the other person with a sacrificial love and don’t keep a record of wrongs or instances when the other person isn’t meeting your needs.

  12. Great post! The God Moments part is truly enriching! I keep telling Ngina that her blog is my training ground for this c-o-m-m-i-t-m-e-n-t thing! God bless you.

    1. Haha, Ngina is doing a great job here. Thanks @twitter-547605367:disqus for sharing your thoughts.

  13. Marriage takes work. Don’t coast. Work at it. Put the effort into it. Make your marriage a top priority. It’s hard at times, but it’s worth it.

    1. Thanks Jon. Hard can often seem like an understatement in reality but you’re absolutely right about its priority and worth. Thanks for sharing.

  14. It’s such a great honor to share on your platform, Ngina. Thanks ever so much for the opportunity.

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