A while back, a couple of marriage bloggers peeled back the curtains on their lives and shared some of their personal struggles and shortcomings in ministry and life.
Sometimes we think people who champion something might “have it together” more than we do.
But that’s always inaccurate as we all have the same struggles and challenges.
Today I’d like to join up (albeit belatedly) and share some of my joys and challenges
(most of it isn’t news really anyway since I already share a lot here!)
11 confessions of a marriage and growth blogging wife.
1. I am no grammar teacher
I think you might have figured that already!
English is not my first (or second) language and as far as writing is concerned, I aim for communication; as long as we understand each other, I am happy!
2. Blogging is not so easy
It can be mind-numbing, heart-consuming, finger-cracking.
It takes a lot of thought, reflection, research, sacrifice, time and grace.
I have days when I write a post and feel like it’s the last post I’ll ever write!
But I keep on, because I am on assignment and I love encouraging others.
3. My time is not limitless.
Just because I work from home, I sometimes fall into this illusion that my time is limitless.
So I take on multiple tasks and dreams and little projects.
And beat myself up when I don’t complete them as fast as I’d intended.
So am coming to peace with the fact that my book might not be done in the next few months.
I am finally okay with the fact that I can’t network with everyone.
I have 24 hours (like everyone else) and I have to be a good steward of those hours.
4. Writing for different cultures isn’t easy
My subscriber base (and reader base) used to be 99% Kenyan.
It’s now 68% North American.
We all have the same issues but the way we communicate and articulate these issues changes from culture to culture.
It’s been exhilarating, often challenging, learning how different cultures process different things.
5. My courtship was not perfect.
I have many single readers and sometimes when I talk about my courtship or the mentoring we received, they might take that to mean we had a perfect friendship and courtship!
We didn’t. And we were heartbroken when we made mistakes and floundered around.
In hindsight am so glad we didn’t have a perfect courtship!
Because marriage isn’t perfect too and it would have been quite the rude awakening if the halos around our heads had not been knocked off earlier.
6. I love marriage
My husband is my best friend.
I miss him when he walks out of the door in the morning. I think about him during the day and can’t wait to have him home in the evening.
I’ve purposed to keep our “honeymoon” for life (especially after a challenging first two years of marriage!)
An intentional mindset is not something everyone wants to cultivate but lets be honest; we tend to reap what we actively pursue and believe for.
So I’d decided to pursue a glorious time with my honey!
7. I don’t have a perfect marriage.
My husband and I love each other to bits. But we also aggravate each other to little itty bits.
We are opposites in terms of personality (but with same values and dreams).
He’s a man, I am a woman.
He’s a city boy, I am country born and bred.
He’s easy, am not.
Like every couple, we have pebbles that try to rock our marriage boat.
We are glad for God who’s always in the boat with us!
8. I don’t have kids
I get bothered when friends (close and long-lost) open the conversation with “When are you going to have kids?”
It sometimes reminds me of that dreadful question in singlehood “So when are you getting married?”
Clearly these questions never end! (So cheer up, single friend *smile*).
9. I miss home
This week, I received some photos from home and my heart dropped to my chest when I saw a teenage boy hanging off my teenage niece.
But the shock cleared (only to be replaced by another kind of shock) when I realized “the boy” was none other than my not-so-little-anymore-nephew, her brother.
Two years are a life-time for teenage growth spurts.
I miss home.
10. I am nothing without Jesus
I am the last person I’d choose to help others. I am painfully aware of my weaknesses and failures.
I am amazed that God would use my words to touch and encourage someone else.
Without Him I am nothing. He is my everything.
11. I have a passion for Africa
My husband and I are passionate about changing lives in Africa through knowledge, enterprise, ideas and resources.
We desire to grow people’s dreams, meet needs and connect these dreams and needs to resources.
We are are actively pursuing this dream.
(Would you please pray for us? Pray for God’s direction, connections and favor as we seek partnerships and funding for projects in Kenya)
Question – What challenges do you encounter as you work towards your dream? For bloggers, what “confession” can you share today? Lets connect in Comments!
I’m going to lay bare my soul here…. Ngina, this is a massive challenge for me.
* I’m mentally/emotionally paralyzed at being proactive at getting to work and getting anything completed.
* I know what I must do, but, nothing happens. I have the head knowledge. Yet, no action is taking place.
* I feel as though I’m not accomplishing anything.
* I have no idea what’s holding me back or blocking me.
* I often wonder if I have some kind of brain damage.
~ I have a passion for people.
~ I have a passion for photography.
~ I have a passion to write.
~ I love being married and being a wife.
When I set out to do these things nothing happens. All I can accomplish is no brainer stuff like reading, house chores and the like.
It’s quite frustrating.
Wow, this is indeed a big challenge Kimberly. I will be in prayer for you. Have you visited with a godly counselor or mentor friend. My friend @BarbRav:disqus has a wonderful blog that might help some of the challenges. http://barbraveling.com/ . Thank you for sharing your heart.
Thank you Ngina. I’ll check out Barb’s website. Thank you for the prayers.
I’m amazed that english is not even your second language and I understood your blogs very well. I’ve read many blogs from many authors and most of them are english speakers and they could barely put their thoughts together on a blog. It would often feel incomplete. Your blogs are a joy to read and I can tell that you put alot of love and hard work into it.
Thank you Telisha 🙂
Love your transparency here Ngina. I’m so glad I’ve been able to get to know you better and better as time goes by. There’s something about your blog posts that are truly relatable and personable. I just wanted to acknowledge that to you since I know as a fellow blogger how difficult it sometimes can be writing in a culture where it’s not your primary language and culture.
I must confess I often take myself too seriously. I sometimes need to lighten up and enjoy the festivities that lie ahead of me, but I tend ruminate over deep ideas such as “intentional living” and “meaning of life.”
Paul, it’s so good to receive that encouragement from someone that’s walking a similar road. You understand how it is and are moving forward in obedience and passion. That’s truly great.
I am smiling as I read about “ruminating and taking yourself seriously”. 🙂 I am familiar with that cos am married to ‘ruminator’ and thinker! :). Bless God for our differences that make us better! God does give us different ways to think and process things as He assigns us to different tasks. I enjoy your insightful posts, that are filled with wisdom.
Thank you for being transparent. If we all sat down and wrote our lists, we’d all hear echoes of yours, I’m sure. Blessings to you today!
I agree Lori, all of us have things we wrestle with in our walk and obedience. Thanks for coming by and encouraging me 🙂
I struggle with slowing down to enjoy life’s precious moments, as well as trusting God more than I trust myself or my efforts.
Seems we are consigned to a similar predicament David. Haha, I’m getting better albeit slowly. Let’s continue to encourage each other.
I’m game Paul!
I am a work in progress David 🙁 I’ve discovered that God will have creative and effective ways to help me get back to trusting and slowing down. And they are often with an “ouch”. 🙂 and the lessons last longer. Glad to know we are many and moving towards growth!
I relate with most of your points. Both blogging and being married requires perseverance, dedication, and hard work. Though the benefits it brings far outweigh the investment required. Great post!
I agree with you Dan, the benefits far outweigh the investment. That’s a great a great bottom line 🙂
Thanks for opening up, I enjoyed getting to know you more 🙂
Thanks Robyn 🙂
There is not enough space here to confess all I could confess. Just this: I’ve been married for 14 years and made my husband cry because I told him that I finally figured out what “one” means in terms of the marriage relationship. He’s been waiting for me. 🙂
Aww, that’s huge AJ 🙂 Glad for extraordinari-ness of the men in our lives! And the love and growth of in the women that love them back!
I struggle with feeling overwhelmed, feeling like I need to live up to expectations, feeling like I need to be perfect, and feeling like a total failure. I can see that writing is the perfect trial I need to grow in the ways God wants me to grow. I’m thankful for it, even though it’s sometimes hard and am learning to enjoy it. And I’m really thankful for all the friends I’ve made through blogging, including you, Ngina. 🙂
Am so grateful for your friendship Barb. I am encouraged (and instructed!) reading your words. There’s strength in multitudes and am glad we are together, learning and growing.
Thanks so much for sharing your heart with such honesty.
I struggle with some of the same things regarding my blogging and my marriage. I’m so glad God walks with me every step of the way. I’m thankful for the challenges because they keep me turning to God time and again.
Amen TC, I too am glad for challenges. Like someone once said, “where would i be without my troubles?”, they keep me dependent. Thanks for sharing
I struggle with the fear of failure and rejection. I have put things on hold because of these two crippling fears. I fight everyday to dispel the lies and discouragement they bring. The only thing I know to do is keep moving forward because if I stop I let them win. I refuse to let them win in my life.
Bernard, thanks for sharing your journey, I too have found that “keeping on” when everything shouts stop, is a great strategy for winning. I have learned (still learning!) that victory does not always go to the brightest or sharpest or most talented or strongest – but to the persistent.
I struggle with making sure the message I have is for the right audience. Then the question become: what is the right audience? How do I reach them? Will they like me? How do I get them to come back and take action? Am i writing the wrong message? What is the right message? And where is God in the midst of all this lol?
The only thing I can do is just keep moving forward…just like you have to 🙂
I hear you Mike! It can be a long winding stairway, this writing/blogging/sharing thing 🙂
Love how you handle it!
I struggle with many things just like everyone else. I even struggle with this language and it’s the only one I know! Showing who we are with all the flaws with the right heart is perspective is humility. I struggle with balance in all areas of life…
Ha! That’s so funny Floyd!
Indeed we are all a work in progress!
I’m so glad to get to know a bit more about you, Ngina, even though I feel as if I’ve gotten to know you already from your amazing writing here. And I’m so glad that you are vigilant about being real and “confessing” that you are a work in progress–as we all are! I’ll certainly pray for you and your husband as you seek to know how God might want to use you, either here in the U.S. or in Africa, my sweet friend! I know God’s already used you in mighty ways!
Thank you for the kind words Beth! I appreciate our connection and how we encourage each other in growth. I learn so much from my you!
That’s true, we are all a work in progress!
Thanks so much for your prayers, I appreciate you.