21 Marriage Insights From Readers {2013}

One thing I love about the comment section of the blog is all the great conversions that take place there.

Today I’d like highlight some of the wisdom and insights you’ve shared this year.

Feel free to click through and read some of the highlighted posts & visit the Commenters pages ( they are incredible people and writers!)

Ps. Between writing a book, doing charity work, crafting posts and talks,  and my every day life, I am finding that I am no longer able to respond to all the comments as I used to.

Just know that I value and read all your thoughts and insights, even if I don’t reply to all of them. Thank you for taking time to read and share.

21 Marriage Insights From Readers {2013}

1. Protect Your marriage: keep boundaries with the opposite sex

“It seems common these days for people to shrug (boundaries) off as old-fashioned. But it’s not about what we think is right, it’s about what is wise. And it’s just not wise to put yourself in positions where you’re tempted. To think it couldn’t happen to you is an invitation for adultery” Grayson Pope

2. If you want your husband to lead, then get out of his way

“…Knowing that men inherently are motivated by respect, women are motivated by love. We all need to work on the traits that lift up our other halves.” Floyd Samon

3. We are Happy, not perfect

“I don’t have enough room to list all the things I love about my wife. I’ve often told her: it’s not books or sermons or friends who have had the most impact on me… it’s my wife” Dave Arnold

4. 29 reasons I love my husband

“Darren Hardy mentioned that he did this for an entire year in his journal and then gave it to his wife as a present on Thanksgiving. I will need to forward this to my wife so that she can jump in. Let me see, does she have 29 reasons for me? 🙂  Lincoln parks

5. Submission in marriage: what it’s not

“Not many women are bold enough to agree that submission is part of the marriage. I love what you say about asking God to help you and not submitting through gritted teeth. There are some things I question and I think I try to be like Sarah in the bible and have a ‘quiet’ spirit but…it doesn’t work! Ruby Suze

6. 5 things I’d do different if i was to do honeymoon all over again

“In the beginning I worried to that the first fight meant it was over, I worried that she would never get along with my friends. Once we talked and learned how to truly communicate, these weren’t issues anymore!” Kimanzi Constable

7. 8 things you should not do to your marriage

“Isn’t amazing how we learn so much from what NOT to do in our marriages, Ngina? ..I love all your points here, but really like the idea of “knee-mail.” I’ve never heard that before and it made me laugh–in a good way. Prayer truly is such a powerful weapon in protecting and strengthening our marriages..” Beth Steffaniak

8. Your spouse might not be wrong, just different

“I can also really identify with the example you shared of your husband giving freely to the woman whose motives you were judging. That’s so me and so my husband. I’m always left staring like a deer in headlights when he just opens his wallet and hands them his hard earned dollar bills! He has TAUGHT ME so much about what it means to live with an open hand and moving when the Lord says move instead of when my head tells me differently. His generosity is amazing and one of the things I love most about it! Leigh Ann

9. Why You need to stop Comparing your marriage {and do this instead}

“..Those who compare themselves against themselves are not wise (and that is especially the case in marriage). Find what works for you and “work it!” Fawn Weaver

10. Will you take the road less traveled?

“..NOTHING fits my comfort zone, Ngina. I am a creature of “don’t change my life unless it’s convenient — to ME.” I know many others who fit the same mold as I do. We seem flexible enough, people think we are “go-getters”, but in reality, we cringe at the thought of someone asking us to do something else. Worse, asking us to do something different — not our usual type of activity.” Amy at Out on a Limb

11. How to Track Your Personal and Marital Growth

“..The thing with spiritual growth and with marriage is that the more you grow the more you realize your need for growth.” Caleb Suko

12 9 Scriptures to Pray over Your husband

“I loved it when you said that as a Helpmate a woman as the ability to receive, incubate and bring forth life; and not just physical life but his dreams, hopes and aspirations. This right in line with what my wife and I teach premarital couples. I reinforce with the men the importance of having a vision. Because when they have a vision their wife will respond in helping them meet and exceed that vision”  Bernard Haynes

13. Purity: Does it Matter Anymore?

“I think it’s also important to remember that purity is valuable in and of itself – not only because you MIGHT get married one day or because one day you WILL be rewarded with mind blowing, God-honoring sex. ..that’s a lie. .God doesn’t promise you marriage, or great sex – and even without that – it is STILL worth purity. Even if you’re single you’re entire life – it’s worth it. True Love Waits, yes, but only if you include that the True Love is for Jesus (not a “soul mate”) and it waits – even if that means waiting until death or Christ’s return and never knowing earthly marriage and sexual intimacy with another human being.” Amy, Modernish Homemaker

14. 5 Ways to Love Your husband through every season

“There’s tons of stuff we, as wives, can do to encourage our husbands. The main thing is to not be selfish, as you mention. Lift him up in prayer, not only pray with him. Do special things for him to let him know you’re thinking about him and tell him how much you appreciate him. Men need to know we appreciate them. They need to be wanted by us. Not clingy and whiny or naggy. They need to know they’re meeting our needs. We need to communicate to them if they’re not, in a positive light.” Kimberly Edwards

15. To Pursue or not to Pursue {and other things singles need to know}

“I’m a recently remarried woman and I cannot describe the abiding joy that comes with being daily pursued, when the man you love more than any other seeks to know you and to draw you out and to give himself for you – it is joy unspeakable! But it will not happen if you are calling the shots, manipulating him to get what you want or settling one who won’t rise to the challenge.” Missy June

16. How to let someone know you are married

“..When I’m talking with a person of the opposite sex, I make sure to mention my wife so that they are clear that I’m taken.” Dan Black

17 Are you giving your marriage the time it needs?

“My husband and I have the total opposite, we are together all the time. I need time with lots of people to refresh and he needs time away from people. Through the years and some hard struggles we have come to appreciate each others needs. We strive to have relaxing time away from each other since we work as a team as Member Care reps for our mission…” Betty Draper

18 Great couples intentionally pursue each other

“For me, being intentional in my marriage is choosing wisely and loving unconditionally daily. I choose to be intentional with my thoughts…I choose to be intentional with my emotions – striving to control my negative feelings and expressing them in a healthy way and to be free-flowing with my love. I choose to be intentional in my words.. I choose to be intentional in my actions – striving to act honorably, properly, and lovingly. I choose to intentionally communicate to him regularly and to intentionally spend quality time together, even if that means sacrificing “me” time or something else. – Hannah Williams

19. 6 ways to navigate financial difficulties in marriage

“..I can pretty much guarantee you that your husband feels worse about everything than you do, and he doesn’t need you to remind him of anything. What he needs is a cheerleader just like you said..” Loren Pinilis

20. 11 Confessions of a marriage blogging wife

“I struggle with making sure the message I have is for the right audience. Then the question become: what is the right audience? How do I reach them? Will they like me? How do I get them to come back and take action? Am i writing the wrong message? What is the right message? And where is God in the midst of all this lol? The only thing I can do is just keep moving forward…just like you have to 🙂 Mike Holmes

21 Going the extra mile in marriage

“I like that, “Prayer changes things…mostly me”. I’m more of the “charge forward and FORCE the change” that needs to happen and he’s more, “Let’s see how things progress before me make any sudden changes”. Thank God for strength to endure, now if only I could do it with grace 🙂 ” T C Avey

Bonus Insights

22. Purity: does it matter anymore?

“..When we ‘cross the line’…even in our thoughts, we will know it…at first. When we cross it again and again…we graduate. We now need to ‘cross another line’. So we can easily graduate and cross lines all the way to damaging the all cherished purity.” Lawrence Namale

23 Why help save marriages before they start

“We’re disingenuous if pretend that we’re all okay. As a relatively new married (almost 10yrs) there are countless times my wife and I have thought about tapping more experienced couples for advice. We’ve learned soooo much!”  DS

Question – What other marriage tips can you add?

Linking with Titus 2sdays, Messy marriage, we are That Family, Wise Woman, Wifey Wednesday,