A few months ago, I attended a conference that had many women in attendance; we were so many I could count the number of men present on my ten fingers!
Towards the end of the meeting, the conference convener talked about a future event she was putting together and how awesome it was going to be.
She put the awesome part in form of question.
“Doesn’t (the event) sound amazing, aren’t you all looking forward to it?”
All the way from the back and seated right in front of me, a lone man let out his opinion..loudly and emphatically.
Hundreds of horrified female eyes swept his way.
You’d have heard a pin drop.
I thought I could see the speakers mind doing cartwheels “And that is why, Sir, I love to create events for women only!”
When your husband is not emotional about God
That episode reminded me how different men and women are.
That guy was probably trying to be funny. Or honest. Or just being a guy.
And it got me thinking how in marriage we expect our husbands to be a certain way for Jesus. And how we struggle when they are not!
Recently I shared an update on Facebook that resonated with people;
I asked the wives,
“Are you feeling responsible for your husbands spirituality? You are passionate and effusive and he’s laid back and “not so into God”
A nuggets to remember; as ladies we are more relational and warm and we approach our relationship with God the same way. Guys on the other hand are not always effusive or mushy, but doesn’t mean they are not spiritual.
As a wife, don’t worry or try to control your husband’s relationship with God, leave him to be. Encourage and sharpen one another when there’s a slackening, but above all be a wife that prays over your man. Not one that tries to dominate his spiritual life out of fear.”
Let’s break down some thoughts and look at 3 reasons your husband is not emotional or mushy (like you) about God
1. Your husband is not emotional because he’s a guy: he relates differently
As a single girl, I couldn’t wait for the one sweet day when I would slow dance with my husband in our living room.
After the wedding and honeymoon, it was my #1 to-do thing. With arms around him and staring sweetly into his face, I asked for a dance.
He froze, then resisted and finally wriggled out of my arms.
I was mortified.
In that moment I was convinced I had married the most unromantic man that ever lived.
Which was silly.
Because he wrote me love notes; handcrafted sweet cards. He brought me flowers. He was trying to cook (his least favorite thing).
He pulled out seats in restaurants. Held out a hand on stairs or steps.
But he could not dance with me. And that’s all I could see.
So, your husband. He has his gifts and a disposition when it comes to his relationship with the Lord.
And maybe like me, sometimes you have eyes fixed on the “wrong” place.
And maybe you need to start seeing what he is, not what he’s not.
He might not like to hold hands and “press through” morning prayer; he prefers to talk to God. He’d rather talk to one person than a whole roomful of people in Bible study.
Doesn’t make him unspiritual. Or a backslider.
It makes him different. And most likely, a guy.
Read these posts for more insights
2. His wife is not enthusiastic about Jesus
I am not trying to lay anything on you.
But I’ve discovered that sometimes our men are not effusive about certain things because they live in a dry, zero-to-no-prayer-offered-on-their-behalf kind of environment.
Think about it, as a wife you thrive when you are planted in good soil.
You feel good when your husband is proud of you and encourages you. You flourish when he covers you in prayer.
But if he’s constantly in your space, never creating room or opportunities for your growth, you feel cloistered and stunted.
So while your husband is absolutely responsible for his relationship with the Lord, as his wife the Lord will hold you accountable for what you did with your influence as a Helpmeet.
You can read these posts for more insights
3. He doesn’t love Jesus
If you are married to a nonbeliever, he very well might not like Jesus.
I want to encourage you, don’t let your unequal yoking become the focus of your marriage.
I can’t begin to imagine the strain that comes with unequal yoking but I have heard from wives who are married to unbelieving husbands.
And while it’s not easy, one of the things that has made a difference in their relationship is focusing on what they can control, not what they cannot control.
Changing their husband, making things different – you cannot control that. Salvation is a personal choice.
But praying for him, honoring and respecting him, being a good example – that you have power to do.
1 Corinthians 7: 13, 14a says
And if a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage..
If you are married to a non-believing spouse this post might help > What if your husband is not a believer?
If you are struggling to understand your guy, if you are longing to iron out the creases, my book Blues to Bliss: Creating Your Happily Ever after in the Early Years can help! This book is for every wife who is tired of the fussing and distance, who wants to restore joy, healing and happiness to your marriage. It’s for the wife who wants to love better, create the marriage of her dreams, God’s way. Get on the road to a better marriage: Amazon Paperback I Kindle I Barnes & Noble I PDF I UK/Europe PDF . Or Click here to go to the book page.