3 Ways to Support Your Husband as a Leader

Loving My Husband | Marriage | Personal Growth

Husbands need their wives.

I didn’t always get that.

Maybe because I had a strong dad, who didn’t seem to need much support or encouragement.

Or maybe I was just a naive little child.

Anyway I get married and we have a 12-hour drive ahead of us and I hope to sleep most of the way.

Husband doesn’t let me sleep and I begin to get irritated.

3 Ways to Support Your Husband as a Leader

Halfway through the journey it begins to dawn on me “He needs me“.

Talking, rolling down the window so he can stay awake, passing snacks. He needs me

Suitable Helper

When it comes to support, husband don’t walk around crying “I need you!”

In fact sometimes that’s just the problem. Because they don’t seem to need, we feel rejected when we try.

(For some of us, you might feel he is not doing enough. I’ve talked about that here, here and here)

A few thoughts on supporting and encouraging your husband in his leadership role.

1. Get out his way

He can’t lead if you are standing in his way.

Discover how to get out of the way, so he can lead – Read this post.

2. Applaud him

Sometimes my husband will do something amazing (an everyday kind of thing) and I’ll noise abroad about it.

But soon the newness wears off and so does the gratitude.

Before long I’ll be thinking about a dozen (not really) other things he could be doing but isn’t doing.

We tend to repeat what we are affirmed in.

Like when he appreciates your cooking, you feel good and want to cook that exact meal more often.

Think about the things he does well, or at least tries to, and make a point of saying something nice as often as he does them. (Click to Tweet)

For those things you feel he could do better, or the things you feel he ought to start doing, pray, have a conversation about it, adjust expectations, involve a trusted mentor.

3. Live up to your role.

The phrase “help meet” translates the Hebrew words ezer kenegdo

Ezer means, “help”’ and Kenegdo means ‘opposite as to him’

I love this illustration by Bruce Satterfield

The sense of the phrase ezer kenegdo is ‘an equal but opposite helper to him’. For example, my left hand is the ezer kenegdo to my right hand; both hands look alike except they are exactly opposite. Both hands are equal but opposite. This is so that they might work better together.

Imagine trying to pick up a shovel with two hands that are positioned the same! Again, the ezer kenegdo of the right wing of an airplane is the left wing; they look exactly the same except they are opposite each other. Both wings are equal but opposite. This is so that the airplane can fly. One wing is no more important than the other.”

The same is true with man and woman. Man’s ezer kenegdo is woman. Both are equal but opposite.

You are a partner in marriage. You need each other to fulfill your specific roles.

Question: What ways do you support your husband in his leadership role? Please share in Comments

*After I finished writing this post, I came across this great article at Happy Wives Club. (It’s written by a husband!) “7 Quick Ways to Empower Your Man with Confidence” Enjoy!
Linking with Messy Marriage, we are That Family, Titus 2sdays


  1. Great article! Thanks!

  2. Michelle Stam says:

    Thanks for sharing this! I grew up in a home without a dad, so it’s sometimes hard for me to know how to support my husband as a leader in our home. These suggestions are great. Thanks! Visiting from WFMW! 🙂

  3. That’s neat about the Hebrew phrase – I hadn’t heard that before and it’s helpful!

    1. I loved it too Barb, I didn’t know that illustration before, it’s very helpful to see it that way. And congratulations on the launch of your podcast! I’ve been reading the show notes/blog post and listened to a bit of it, but haven’t commented. It’s so good! Congratulations.

      1. Thanks, Ngina! It’s been a big job getting it off the ground but I think I’ll enjoy it once I get used to it!

  4. This is so good, Ngina. This is also a very relevant area, since I believe many wives have trouble knowing how to let their husband’s lead–myself included! Thanks for your wisdom and by the way, I featured your post from last week over at Wedded Wed. You were one of two top clicked links. Hugs to you!

  5. Lincoln Parks says:

    Thanks for sharing this message Ngina. I truly appreciate how you support your Husband and vice versa for you guys. Your posts are so inspirational and are transcendent for men and women. Keep it coming, I am reading and learning.

    1. Lincoln, thank you for reading and your kind words. I am blessed that the thoughts here are helpful. Thank you.

  6. Lawrence Namale says:

    Awesome. I know this address the wives but a great husband cam learn something too. That point of getting excited when your spouse does something that you intention find worthy of praise and gratitude is a great one. Thanks for sharing. One needs to write an equal but opposite article for the husbands too…

    1. Thank you Lance. I agree, a husband to wife perspective would be awesome here 🙂 Guest post officially invited and accepted..:)

      1. Lawrence Namale says:

        Oops. That’s a zinger! Didn’t expect to be anointed for the guest post…challenge taken.

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