Husbands need their wives.
I didn’t always get that.
Maybe because I had a strong dad, who didn’t seem to need much support or encouragement.
Or maybe I was just a naive little child.
Anyway I get married and we have a 12-hour drive ahead of us and I hope to sleep most of the way.
Husband doesn’t let me sleep and I begin to get irritated.
Halfway through the journey it begins to dawn on me “He needs me“.
Talking, rolling down the window so he can stay awake, passing snacks. He needs me
When it comes to support, husband don’t walk around crying “I need you!”
In fact sometimes that’s just the problem. Because they don’t seem to need, we feel rejected when we try.
A few thoughts on supporting and encouraging your husband in his leadership role.
1. Get out his way
He can’t lead if you are standing in his way.
Discover how to get out of the way, so he can lead – Read this post.
2. Applaud him
Sometimes my husband will do something amazing (an everyday kind of thing) and I’ll noise abroad about it.
But soon the newness wears off and so does the gratitude.
Before long I’ll be thinking about a dozen (not really) other things he could be doing but isn’t doing.
We tend to repeat what we are affirmed in.
Like when he appreciates your cooking, you feel good and want to cook that exact meal more often.
Think about the things he does well, or at least tries to, and make a point of saying something nice as often as he does them. (Click to Tweet)
For those things you feel he could do better, or the things you feel he ought to start doing, pray, have a conversation about it, adjust expectations, involve a trusted mentor.
3. Live up to your role.
The phrase “help meet” translates the Hebrew words ezer kenegdo
Ezer means, “help”’ and Kenegdo means ‘opposite as to him’
I love this illustration by Bruce Satterfield
The sense of the phrase ezer kenegdo is ‘an equal but opposite helper to him’. For example, my left hand is the ezer kenegdo to my right hand; both hands look alike except they are exactly opposite. Both hands are equal but opposite. This is so that they might work better together.
Imagine trying to pick up a shovel with two hands that are positioned the same! Again, the ezer kenegdo of the right wing of an airplane is the left wing; they look exactly the same except they are opposite each other. Both wings are equal but opposite. This is so that the airplane can fly. One wing is no more important than the other.”
The same is true with man and woman. Man’s ezer kenegdo is woman. Both are equal but opposite.
You are a partner in marriage. You need each other to fulfill your specific roles.
Question: What ways do you support your husband in his leadership role? Please share in Comments