A person may be perfect on paper, but no one marries paper – at least no one should, said Hudson Russell Davis
When searching for a spouse, most people tend to obsess over the other person’s suitability for marriage. In comparison, not a lot of thought goes towards our own readiness.
So I have come up with a list of 30 qualities to help you gauge your own readiness for marriage. Consider it your official “Am I ready for marriage” test!
Because who you are is what you bring to marriage. And what you bring will either bless or limit your relationship.
Without further ado
You know you are not ready for marriage when
1. Grown-up is simply not your style.
2. You are low on compassion and high on opinions when it comes to other peoples’ relationship problems.
3. You are a big tease. For example, you haven’t figured what pieces of clothing go to what part of body – inner ones hang out and the outer ones are hard to see.
4. You don’t know how to talk to the opposite sex without embarrassing your mother.
5. Sharing space makes you claustrophobic.
6. You are holding on to romantic notions from the teen years e.g talk, dark and handsome are still a must-have.
7. You don’t believe in the different strengths a couple bring to a relationship.
8. You believe happy marriages are a myth. (It’s hard to arrive to a destination you don’t believe exists.)
9. You believe marriage should be perfect.
10. You have small ears and not a mouth to match.
11. Marriage is taking too long. You obsess about marriage.
12. You like other people’s things. Especially spouses.
13. Your mouth and your heart don’t quite agree. You say one thing but act another way.
14. You prefer your boys or girls (or other fascinations) over him or her.
15. You are clingy.
16. You are okay with marrying someone you don’t know very well.
17. You play too hard to get.
18. You are easy to get.
19. People can see two pairs of hands sticking out of your puppet costume…and they look like your parents.
20. You ignore the red flags in potential suitors.
21. You don’t like (asking or being asked) questions.
22. You ask too many questions.
23. You like playing judge and jury.
24. You don’t like taking advice.
25. You don’t like chasing (in order to capture) a human heart.
26. Your life still revolves around you.
27. You have started a club called “Singles Anonymous”.
28. You think marriage is for losers, hence prefer “moving in together“.
29. You believe marriage will take away your problems.
30. You think you are ready for marriage.
Okay, maybe you are ready to throw tomatoes right about now.
In case it wasn’t obvious, some of the points are tongue-in-cheek (though not all the way.)
And when it comes to marriage preparedness, no one hits a perfect score. Most married people do the deed while still mired in huge idiosyncrasies.
For the most part, marriage is made up of two broken, healing, messy people.
And God uses the unity and proximity and mystery of the union to make us better sons and daughters of God who in turn become better spouses and lovers.
So don’t worry if you scored zero out of that list – at least now you know how much you need God and His intentionality! Which is better place to be than assuming perfection.
Overall, it takes time to unlearn habits, ingrained behavior and thinking patterns. Especially when you are not aware of such thinking, behavior or habits in the first place. Take heart. And begin to get ready now.
If you are a single sister waiting for the mister, start with these posts:
And if you are in a relationship/newlywed, check out my books.
Question – What other funny (or not so funny) tit-bits can you add? What other traits speak “not ready for marriage”? Feel free to add them in Comments below!
Want to know more about marriage? Already married/about to get married and wondering how to love your “imperfect” guy? My book Blues to Bliss: Creating Your Happily Ever After in the Early Years might help. Learn how to positively influence your marriage and create the marriage of your dreams, one intentional choice at a time. Start your journey -> Amazon I Barnes & Noble I PDF