My husband and I don’t have children yet.
In almost 6 yrs of marriage we’ve received a fair share of questions and puzzled looks.
I’ve also know couples who are trying to have children but they have not been blessed yet.
We are not in that category but my heart goes out to them because on top of waiting on God, they have to field answers and explain themselves to others.
So here’s a few things I think we should keep in mind when we come across couples without kids…whether they have been married one month or fifteen years.
1. Don’t assume you know why they don’t have kids.
You don’t know their heart or their reason.
They most probably know that Scriptures talk about being fruitful and multiplying in number.
But just because you can’t see what you think you ought to see, doesn’t mean you know the story behind their choices.
Sticky point: don’t assume.
2. Remember, it’s their life.
They are answerable to God.
When you feel you must do something, try begin with prayer.
3. Asking “have any kids?” is okay.
Delivering a whole lecture about it is not.
If you are friends already, you might have permission to discuss such matters.
If you are not friends..well you need permission.
(I think we forget how kids are made and that many couples don’t like to talk about that with everyone 🙂 )
Don’t dig around for information. Especially when you sense discomfort.
Many couples especially wives, (okay, maybe this wife) can tell when someone is pushing a conversation just so that they can run you down and deliver a conclusion.
4. Let it go, give grace
Living in a new culture continues to stretch me in ways and places I didn’t even know existed.
I am learning to say “It’s cultural, not personal” and let go of things that can annoy me to pieces if I allow them.
Kids are the normal fruit of marriage.
When “abnormal” (a couple way past honeymoon and no kids) shows up, we want them to have a neat reason and explanation for their abnormality.
But kids are “are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward”.
You are neither a gift giver nor a rewarder.
In other words, “I don’t need to understand everything and that’s okay” is sometimes the only answer there is.
5. If you don’t know what to say, don’t say it.
So, that’s my thoughts on this topic for now.
Feel me? 🙂 Newlywed, earlywed or olderwed, kids or no kids, how do you/did you deal with the kids questions? Share in Comments below.