9 Things I Have Learned in 9 Years of Marriage + Pictures

August 16th last week, my husband and I celebrated nine years of marriage!

We took a mini-getaway to celebrate our anniversary and it was a bundle of fun!

Here are a few pictures plus nine things I have learned about marriage in nine years (I have learned more than nine of course, but these are currently top on my mind!)

1. My husband is not a girl.

Yup. Married a dude. Need to remember that.

2. Learning to pray, intercede deeply for her husband is one of the best gifts a wife can give her husband.

3. Human = imperfect.

Perfect marriages do not exist. But you can build a love so strong it feels perfect, most of the time.

4. My marriage has a purpose, and that purpose includes others.

I believe the reason we are married is because God thought we could have greater impact as a team of two.

God takes the singular power (or potential) existing in a single person and multiplies it in a marriage union. At least multiplication is what is supposed to happen.

A married couple gets to choose whether to live for themselves or for God’s purpose and Kingdom (hint..it’s easy to “settle down” in marriage, much harder to remain purposeful.)

 

5. Community is vital for a healthy marriage.

I am writing this as someone who has moved six different times in the last six years. And struggled with all the moves.

But every where we’ve gone we’ve tried to find community. Couples need to plug into something bigger than themselves.

6. The little things are the big stuff.

Silly banter, loud singing, praying together, wandering through the mall hand in hand, wrestling matches on the couch, surprising each other with kindness, laughing at each others corny jokes, an encouraging word, listening without interruption, pursuing his heart, making a big deal out of each other. Love is the little things.

7 Marriage hurts.

Especially when you are doing it right. We suppose marriage only stretches when there’s something wrong but it stretches either way.

“He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. John 15:2

8 God is faithful

God is not a hard task-master who makes impossible demands. He just asks us to keep in step. “Don’t camp on your worries, sorrows, questions, concerns. Just keep taking the next step, doing what I am asking you to do”

Some answers take long (and some won’t come this side of the sun), but they do eventually come.

Our 9th anniversary adventure felt like the honeymoon getaway we never had.

We lay down on a beach in the Florida coast, the soft sand crunching under a cheery beach mat. His sandy hand rested on my sun-splashed knee as we looked up at a blue beach umbrella: right through the fabric to a bright morning sun bathing a white sea shore.

“We craved this moment nine years ago,” I murmured, “Could not have imagined what God will do, 9 years later. Look at God.”

9. What you fan grows.

If you don’t like it, talk about it. Respectfully, lovingly, prayerfully.

What you do like, celebrate it like crazy. Always give more weight to the good.

~

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