9 Thoughts to Inspire Your Marriage Today

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I am busy finishing the final edits to my upcoming book so I can hand it to the editor.

So today instead of my regular post, I thought I’d share a few marriage thoughts I have posted over in our Facebook community.

If we have not connected on Facebook yet, click here to like the page!  (Remember to chose “get notifications” as well, so as not to miss any updates.

9 thoughts to inspire your marriage today

9 thoughts to inspire & strengthen your marriage and life today

1. Submission

As wives we sometimes struggle with submission in marriage because we don’t know all the details of submission, before hand.

You thought he was one way (you know, courtship blinders and all) and then you get married and the finer character of everyone begin to pour out.

And it’s easy at that point to begin to see the man and fail to see God who might be working through your man to refine you.

While everything within you will shout “he’s not perfect, I can’t submit or partner with him!”, you’ll have to CHOSE to see beyond your scope and understanding and see God.

Submission is an attitude of the heart, a daily journey of faith, where you chose to see Jesus in your marriage, not just a leadership style from your husband.

Raise your eyes from earthly things and see Jesus working in you and perfecting you!

2. Keep the intimacy

Remember the days you poured out to the Lord in private, those days He was your only audience? No one knew you, no one recognized your effort, no one saw the potential in your marriage.

And now He’s lifted you up.

The accolades are coming, you got the promotion, your marriage turned around, people know who you are.

Here’s something the Lord laid on my heart today for all of us

“Don’t forget the Lord, don’t forget the small days. Don’t forget the intimacy you had with the Lord then. Don’t despise those days as you “move on up”. It’s that intimacy and brokenness that got you where you are today. And that intimacy will keep you in your successes”

{Zechariah 4:10 Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin, to see the plumb line in Zerubbabel’s hand.}

3. You can’t manipulate to a better marriage

Ladies, you can’t manipulate and control to a better marriage.

Yes, God wants you to be a strong Ezer Kenegdo (Helpmeet).

But you make things move in your marriage, not because of who you are, but because you got close to the One who makes ALL things move in heaven and earth. {Please note; you’ll never see a happy henpecked man!}

So hit your knees before you try to hit up your husband with points and “should dos”.

Esteem God more than your opinions and He will teach you a wisdom, grace, strength and influence you can’t begin to fathom.

It’s possible to be a powerful influence in your marriage, the biggest voice your husband turns to, after God.

But only because God taught you, molded you, helped you. Humble yourself.

4. Are you tired yet?

Have you been trying to get from your husband what you can only get from God?

Are you tired yet? Exhausted, trying to work out angles and options? Any results? Any success?

Sometimes we won’t turn to God until we’ve exhausted ourselves trying to create our answers.

We need to run God first instead of turning to Him as a last option.

BUT sometimes we have to exhaust our options in order to understand that God is all we need.

So that once we get with Him, we won’t be double-minded.

Today’s check; where do you need to let go and let God?

9 thoughts to inspire your marriage today

5. Don’t go for easy..go for God

If you want God to use you in any way, you must first allow Him to teach you stuff.

Because before you teach others anything, you’ll need to learn the material yourself.

God doesn’t want you helping others out of mere head knowledge, but from the heart.

Allow God to take you through stuff.

Stay at His feet and learn, don’t run off and find your own easier gospel.

Learn so that you can be of real use to another.

6. Hold on to your position of faith

Are you holding your position? Often we are upset and discouraged by opposition that stops progress.

We love progress and success.

And success is all good..but we need remember that some some victories have been won by simply holding our grounds and refusing to quit.

When it’s raining opposition, when you are dry and God feels far away, when your marriage is stormy and you are barely making ends meet,  when it seems like the devil has the upper hand, HOLD your position in faith.

You might not have the energy to “fight back” like you typically do, but you can simply hold your position; not give up.

Hold on to His promise. All tears and weary and disappointed, but still standing.

Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.” Romans 8: 35b, 37

7. What are you fussing about today?

I remember a few years ago when my husband and I were still courting, we walked by this shop window where they were selling cute baby clothes.

My husband liked this one particular shorts ( or was it pants). I hated them. I liked another kind, which..taraa.. he disliked.

Within seconds we were debating why our selection and taste was better than the other persons. We were upset!

Looking back today, I wonder, why do we get so upset over things that are not?

As wives/husbands, we run ahead and work out scenarios that don’t even exist and we worry our hearts out.

For us, it’s been over 7 years, the babies haven’t come but boy you’d have thought we were having babies that day!

We wasted so much energy fussing and arguing something that wasn’t to be for years to come.

What are you worrying about today?

What are you fussing about in your marriage/life? What do you need to LET GO and trust God?

You don’t have to work out all the details of your life today.

Like the Bible says, don’t worry about tomorrow. {Matt 3:34} Let go already, don’t worry.

Let God do His job (He doesn’t sleep, you know, so you can sleep!)

8. Be careful what you allow into your marriage

The movies you watch, the music you listen to, the people you hang out with, it will affect you and your marriage.

Sometimes we  “over-accept” and “over-accommodate” and end up exposing ourselves & marriages to unnecessary struggles and strife.

And we do this in the name of “being like Jesus”.

But when you think about it, it’s mostly our flesh and pride talking.

Think about it

While we do see Jesus hanging out with people that didn’t necessarily pass the “saints” test, He seemed to have had a goal in mind; He was seeking to influence people from a place of relationship.

He wasn’t in those relationships just for the sake of it.

He wasn’t hanging out with people just to be nice and not to be seen like he’s cutting out folks. He had a reason.

What have you allowed into your life today? Are you really being spirit-led or are you just being flesh-led?

Are the things you’ve exposed yourself to hurting your relationship with God, your marriage, but you won’t just let go because you want to be nice and not seem odd?

If you are in it, you need to be able to influence…and if it’s not working, get out.

You are human and what you continually expose yourself to, will affect you.

If God didn’t send you, get out of that boat already.

If the grace ended, stop trying to run on your own grace. You will crash.

9. Simplifying marriage

Here’s one way I like to simplify marriage;

If your husband is saved, delivered, walking after God and growing, then you need to quit the complaining and the belly-aching and start  thanking God for him. (side note; there’s someone somewhere crying out to God for one just like him!).

Once you begin to appreciate the gift your husband is, who knows, maybe you will begin to really understand what a gift He is.

And maybe He might noticing the gift He is.

Your turn – What marriage tip and thought can you add? It doesn’t have to be original, can be from a book you’ve read,  mentor wisdom, e.t.c. Please share in Comments!

*Thoughts have been slightly modified to fit article.

14 Comments

  1. I like the thought about not manipulating your way into a good marriage. I can see that happening so many times in my own heart. Not a cruel manipulation, but a simple belief that if I do X, she’ll do Y. But not only is that not the most loving thing to do, you need to also remember that people are individuals so you’ll inevitably be frustrated when you do X and she doesn’t do Y!

    1. Loren, you’ve hit the nail on the head! I do the same but don’t always recognize that as manipulation, just ‘simple expectation’ or something. Yet that’s what it is at it’s core. It’s very frustrating and an sups energy in the relationship. Good call, thanks.

  2. My wife and myself are in a busy season of life and have found spending quality time together (however, limited) is crucial for us to stay connected with each other. Great post Ngina!

    1. Glad you’ve enjoyed the post Dan and that testimony. I find that seasons come and go and the one thing that remains constant is the relationship..it’s important to curve out that time, however limited, cos it’s what fuel everything else. Thanks for reading.

  3. These are all great, Ngina, but I especially like “Don’t go for easy … go for God!” So true and I feel like it’s really foundation of all the rest you’ve mentioned. When we focus on God and realize that suffering is part of our calling, we find God’s grace enveloping us in our marriages and lives. Great words, my friend and I can’t wait to read your new book!

    1. So true Beth, when we put first things first (God), we find that there’s grace for everything else that may come our way!

      Thanks for the encouragement, I am looking forward to see how the book turns out too 🙂

  4. What our marriages need is more grace. Just read the book, The Grace Filled Marriage. Author shares that we need to show our spouse the Grace that God showed us (His Bride) through his death on the cross. Look at your spouse through the Grace lens. Great book.

    1. Sandra Duhart says:

      Thank you for the advice.

  5. Love this, Ngina: “If your husband is saved, delivered, walking after God and growing, then you need to quit the complaining and the belly-aching and start thanking God for him.” So true!

  6. Awesome post!
    So much truth.
    This part really spoke to me, “It’s that intimacy and brokenness that got you where you are today.”
    Brokenness is good. We shouldn’t shy away from it. It’s where growth happens, where intimacy increases.
    This goes well with your #5.
    I think often Christians want the “easy” life. We pick and choose which parts of the Bible to apply to us and to build our lives on. We cheapen God’s grace and His Sacrifice on the cross by trying to avoid anything hard. This leads us to your #8. We accommodate, or make excuses (like my post today, we justify) for how are or who we are. We let the world determine our standard of living and morality instead of God.
    It’s a slippery slop.

    Great post!!!

    1. Thank you TC, I am so happy you relate. # 5 – God has had to teach me that over and over again, and He’s not done yet, I tend to slide to the easy and comfortable lane, and He has to gently (and not so gently) bring me back to line.

      This is profound “We cheapen God’s grace and His Sacrifice on the cross by trying to avoid anything hard” Very applicable for me today! as I process a few things on my plate. God bless!

      1. Your entire list are things God has had to teach and re-teach me 🙂
        I’m a slow learner.
        Have a blessed week. I’m here for you, Sister.

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