Husband’s ambition (or lack there of) – most wives have wrestled with it!
When I got married, I realized that I had unconsciously picked up another side hustle – I had appointed myself to be my husband’s “reasonable-mate”.
i.e the more balanced mate.
That meant whenever the hubs sat on the driver’s seat and aimed higher in ambition, my foot inched towards his brakes pedal.
A few years down the road, I would learn that ours was not the only relationship where a couple collided on speed matters.
It’s not uncommon in many marriages to have spouse gravitating towards audacious motion and achievement while the other leans towards stability or a working routine.
In our marriage, I tried to “balance out” my husband. Which isn’t a bad thing when you do it the right way.
But trying to stomp on the brakes, from the passengers side of the vehicle, does not make for a pleasurable driving experience!
So if you are like me and when you feel like your spouse is moving too fast/being too ambitious in their dreams, and before you try to slow them down, try the following 6 things;
(Ps. This is assuming you are both on the same page about the general direction of your life!)
When your husband’s ambition annoy you, remember to
1. Check your own motives and heart
Be honest and ask yourself if you are being fearful, intimidated or lacking in faith.
Often our first reaction when we feel stretched on the inside is to try and clip the source of our discomfort.
2. Understand that your main job is not to stand in the path of your spouse & force them to stop.
Sometime back a mentor of mine said something funny. He said that when things are thick and tempers are high in marriage “Don’t stick your hand into the mouth of the dragon – it will bite!”
In other words, don’t try to force issues. You rarely arrive at a good solution, just an escalation.
You can’t change your spouse or your circumstances, but God can – and will – if you let Him. (Click to Tweet)
4. Seek outside perspective
If something is really discomforting and you can’t seem to get on the same page, involve a trusted friend or mentor.
Sometimes what you need is a fresh pair of eyes (or authority).
5. Give it time
We all change over time, hopefully for the better. And so does the way we do things.
Something that wound you up yesterday might not wind you up today. Your spouse’s perspective can also change.
So don’t kill your marriage now, trying to take back control while it’s something that can evolve if you give it time.
6. Keep talking
I found that when I was discomforted, the harder part was learning to keep the conversation going without being drippy.
Read the follow-up post Balancing Your Dreams in Marriage
Want to learn how to walk in harmony in ALL areas of marriage? My book, Blues to Bliss: Creating Your Happily Ever After In The Early Years can help! Click here to learn more and to find purchase links.
Linking with Titus 2sdays, Messy Marriage, We are That Family,