I was told this exact thing by a pastoral couple! “If it really is that bad, why haven’t you already left him?” Then after l spent a few minutes trying to explain that I had no resources, “Well, it must not be that bad if you haven’t found a way to leave him yet.”
Like I had a fairy God mother standing by to wave her wand, “Bam!!, Free apartment! Woosh!!!, Better job to provide for myself. Swish!!! Good health immediately so I don’t have to spend months recovering just to barely function!”
When you are floundering to keep your head just at a place to gasp for breath in your own private little hell, it seems impossible to make decisions that can get you free.
All those abused women who lose their life when they try to get away? Yeah, it makes you plan, and plan some more…..and still be afraid of the unknown. Because one thing has been made very clear to you again and again, this man will get everything HIS way whatever the cost to you, including your life. Even if he doesn’t verbalize it, you KNOW, and he WANTS you to know.