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Of Marriage, Love and Accountability – Do You Have to Choose? (Easter Reflections)
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Of Marriage, Love and Accountability – Do You Have to Choose? (Easter Reflections)

As I write this, it is the day after Easter Sunday.  For many, the weekend came with a lot more than a healthy reflection of Christ and His work among us. How was your weekend? Was it filled with messages of how Christ loves and draws close those who do Him harm? And (directly stated or not)…

Are Spouse-Centered Marriages Sinful? Exploring What it Means to Have a Christ-Centered Marriage
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Are Spouse-Centered Marriages Sinful? Exploring What it Means to Have a Christ-Centered Marriage

A while back, I wrote about how marriage-centered advice can lead to harm, and people-centered advice leads to safety and growth. I explored how in the Christian evangelical/conservative circles, life is often approached through the institutional lens (“the church,” “the kingdom of God,” “the marriage covenant,” e.t.c.) Thus everything becomes about developing and maintaining the…

Praise Your Husband: Dear Wife, You Are Not Responsible For His Emotional Health
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Praise Your Husband: Dear Wife, You Are Not Responsible For His Emotional Health

Husband wants praise: Does she owe him? Will his self-esteem wither and die if she doesn’t affirm him? Will he go fishing for glory outside his marriage if he’s not getting it at home? That’s what evangelical and other conservative faith communities that center maleness have told women. They’ve said men need respect.1 And one of…

How Do You Convince Your Loved One that Getting Away From Your Abuser was the Right Thing to Do?
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How Do You Convince Your Loved One that Getting Away From Your Abuser was the Right Thing to Do?

Someone asked “how do you convince a loved one, through Scripture, that getting away from your abuser was the right thing to do?” Quick answer. You don’t. You don’t need to convince anyone. But let’s dig deeper. Someone who doesn’t see abuse or the need for safety for the victim will not be convinced by…

Does Vague, Confusing Language Around Abuse Keep Women in Abusive Marriages?

Does Vague, Confusing Language Around Abuse Keep Women in Abusive Marriages?

Helping women in abusive marriages: does unclear language or presenting opposing ideas when speaking into a harmful situation keep women spinning their wheels in abuse?  I believe it does. Based on some conversations I’ve had online, some people believe God can change anyone, including hardhearted harmful people. And so, to them, it’s essential to hold space…