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“Don’t take marriage advice from divorced people.” If you are Christian, you’ve probably heard the words or some variation of the same. It’s a common belief in Christian circles, that to divorce is to automatically be biased against all relationships. Thus, the advice runs, one of the best things married people can do to…
Last week on Facebook, I shared how, quite often, what Christians perceive as attacks on marriage are invitations to reflect and mature up. What we think are criticisms are opportunities to pay attention to the things that are not working. To raise the bar from the floor and consider perspectives outside the Bible text… because…
Some Christians, especially those of the evangelical/fundamentalist flavor (of which I was a part), believe God is obsessive. Directly taught or implied, we are taught that our connection to God is less about relationship and more about keeping to the rules, restrictions and commands of the Divine. To be clear, I don’t believe “obsessive” is…
I watched the first two episodes of Shiny Happy People documentary a few weeks ago. Shiny Happy People is a docu-series exploring the life of the Duggar family, of the popular TV show 19 Kids and Counting, and their connection to Bill Gothard and Institute in Basic Life Principles. The documentary reveals Bill Gothard and IBLP as a…
What type of “teachings” keep women stuck in bad marriages? I dare to say the ones with “virtue” written all over them. The ones with an appearance of goodness. The biggest offenders are the ones allowing the majority to continue feeling good about themselves and their belief systems. They leave everyone feeling communal and happy,…
Periodically, I get told I’m pessimistic about marriage, or I’m overly critical of husbands, or I’m setting unrealistic marriage standards. All that because I approach marriage teaching through the lens of safety and health. But I’m not the only one: Everyone I know who prioritizes safety and health in relationships has been accused of not…