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Many women in unsafe marriages don’t know their marriages are draining the life out of them. And one of the reasons they don’t know their marriages are killing them is because, in the Christian world, most (if not all) problems in marriage are presented as “normal marriage issues everyone goes through.” Even when a plain-to-see…
Does God hate divorce? Many Christians believe He does. They believe (or act as if) divorce is something harmed spouses came up with. They say divorce is often pursued by those who refused to persevere normal marriage issues, that it’s a path borne out of randomness and boredom. But they couldn’t be more wrong. The…
“Don’t forget your roots.” I used to get these reminders earlier in the year when I changed my writing focus. Some parts of my audience used to “regular marriage teachings” felt like I had pulled the rug from under their feet when I began discussing abuse in marriage. And over the last several months, I’ve come…
“Don’t give up on your marriage” is a favored line from people who love the marriage institution. Indeed, there’s nothing wrong with loving marriage: the problem is when the marriage relationship is elevated above the individuals. It’s when we focus on helping all marriages succeed without acknowledging that some relationships are harmful and meant to…
Christian going through hard times, have you shared your hard story with a fellow Christian, only to receive an enthusiastic “But look at your testimony! God made it all work out, didn’t He?” fireworks bonanza? Have you experienced one of those dizzying moments of someone being swept up by your complex story, and you watch…
“Let her go.” “But what if he’s in recovery, learning all the ways he’s been a bad husband and working hard to be a better man? “Still. He needs to let her go.” “But is that fair, though? He’s working to be a better human being and a better husband. Seeing his efforts at recovery,…