Are you stuck in marriage monotony? Longing for the next level but can’t bear the work it takes to get there?
I love using gym equipment whenever I work out at the gym. A year or so ago, my husband explained the difference between using free weights (like dumbbells) and stationary gym equipment.
He said free weights add the element of stability; unlike machines which do all the balancing for you. Weights force you to balance yourself, thereby targeting and isolating more muscles which mean better results.
I am all about wanting to get fit and toned, so I gave free weights a try.
Brother, the soreness thereafter!
My patient husband took time to explain why I needed to go back and work out the soreness (as he kneaded and prodded my sore muscles!) “If you do not work out, you extend the pain”
I was thinking about my love-dislike relationship with free weights and the marriage parallel; how we miss opportunities for growth and change because we are stuck in our ways.
God will try to freshen up our tired comfortable marriage routines with new exercises to “isolate more muscle” and “tone things up” a.k.a grow us up.
But we cop out at the earliest opportunity, run back to our old routines and refuse to get back into his regimen because “it hurt too much.”
Why stick around when God has moved on?
I was telling a friend the other day “What is the use of hanging around when God has moved on?”
It is easy to settle for the same-old same-old; like expecting your husband to be the same guy you married years ago (the pleasant side anyway)
But the truth is seasons change. A husband of five months might look very different from a husband of five years.
People grow, they learn, they change. And change is not necessarily a bad thing.
At the core of the human soul is the inclination towards laziness and comfort. We want the best with the least amount of discomfort or effort.
Nonetheless, to grow and experience new frontiers as a couple, we have to be willing to engage different muscles of our lives because that’s where growth is.
So here is a question for you today; has God been zapping up some of your marriage or life routines? It is a scary thing, isn’t it?
It was scary for Michal, David’s wife. 2nd Samuel 6 records the story of David bringing back the ark of the Lord to Jerusalem.
David was so happy before the Lord he danced until his clothes fell off.
Then David danced with all his might before the Lord. As the Ark of the Lord came into the city, Saul’s daughter Michal looked out the window. When she saw David jumping and dancing in the presence of the Lord, she hated him” Verse 14, 16
Michal expected her husband to behave a certain way – kingly, dignified – and when he didn’t, she despised him. She missed the opportunity to “upgrade” alongside her husband (and as a result, became barren – Verse 23.)
You cannot be all God wants you to be, your marriage cannot enter maturity, without a certain level of risk, the willingness to change.
Maybe God is bringing fresh insights, something that challenges your thinking and what you believe about your spouse.
Instead of doing the thing you’ve always done (resist, nag, get angry, self pity), how about taking it in, analyzing and prayerfully considering what God might be saying?
What do you think? How is God stretching you in this moment and what do you think He wants you to learn?
Tired of the fussing, fighting and distance? Want to restore joy, healing and happiness to your marriage? Or maybe you just want to love better, create the marriage of your dreams, God’s way. My book Blues to Bliss: Creating Your Happily Ever After In The Early Years will set you on that road. Buy it here Amazon Paperback I Kindle I Barnes & Noble I PDF I UK/Europe PDF . Or Click here to go to the book page.
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