How can a wife lift her husband when he’s discouraged?
Often as wives, our sense of security is closely tied to our husbands.
When his world rocks, ours rocks along. If he is stressed about finances, we stress alongside him. If he is concerned about something at work, we get concerned right along.
This is the dynamic of being one-flesh; we feel each others pain and carry each others burdens.
However, we need to remember the One who holds our world. It’s God. Not our husbands.
The other week I was up in the middle of the night unable to find sleep because I was over-thinking a situation.
And in that moment I put myself in my husband’s shoes; how he maneuvers and leads our marriage in an often-difficult world.
I mean, it’s harder, takes more commitment and courage to be a man after Gods own heart in today’s world. So I asked myself, “what kind of a wife ought I to be?”
What kind of women should we be? What strength do we bring into marriage?
Because God has called us to be a strength in our relationships. We are to be the kind of women who bring health and strength, instead of waiting for the relationship to supply it.
If your husband is discouraged today, here are 5 verses of Scripture you can meditate on.
1. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4
I studied this verse and lingered on “shadow of death”. It is not death; it is a shadow. Shadows are not a real thing, they cannot hurt you.
However, they are frightful when they reflect a “real” situation in your life. At least it feels real.
However, the Bible says we are over-comers in Christ! He has overcome death! In the worst possible scenario, Jesus already triumphed! (1 Corinthians 15:55, 57)
No matter how “real” the situation your husband is facing is, remember these are shadows. They cannot derail God’s plan for your lives or bring a divide. God is more real!
2. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
I love the Lord’s prayer.(Matthew 6:9–13)
I love where it says “your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” I love that when my world is rocking, heaven is very much at peace.
God is not moved by things that go on down here. Our pain moves him, but He is not rocked or surprised by it or by trouble.
When it looks like your rock here on earth is troubled, remember that God has you both covered. His plan for your lives and marriage are very much intact.
And as you lean into Him, His will will be done in your marriage.
3. The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18
God brought you together because He believed you could add value to each other. Specifically, he thought you would be of much help to your husband.
I always say that there’s no need to get married if you don’t intend to be more for God. Marriage will present opportunities to be more productive, useful, stronger for God’s glory.
There’s not other time when your help is more needed than when the boat is tittering.
While we often lean to our husbands for strength, we also have a unique strength that we bring into the relationship. That is why God said “I will find him (man) a suitable helper.” (brackets added)
When your husband is going through a season of discouragement, it is not the time to sink into weakness.
It is the time to seek God, lean into His strength and believe that you can be a source of strength for him. God put you in his life for such a time as this.
4. “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
Moses had just died, and God called Joshua to take his place and lead the people of Israel into taking the promised land.
However, the promised land was already occupied! If they wanted it, (and God told them its theirs), they had to fight.
I feel that way about marriage.
On our wedding day, we are so happy because we feel like we conquered everything; “deliverance” from singlehood and years of waiting! Finally, a man of our own!
But what we don’t know is that the land of marriage is already occupied and if we want to thrive, we have to kick out some folk! Folk like our flesh, unrealistic expectations, wrong mindsets, painful pasts, addictions, laziness.
A good marriage is not handed to us on a silver platter; we work for it.
When you find the work part of your marriage so soon after the wedding, you have decide, make up you mind to believe the Word of God.
Not give your ears to the scary “folk” around you. You simply have to believe God! Otherwise, you will grow faint and head back to the desert!
5. “Peace is what I leave with you; it is my own peace that I give you. I do not give it as the world does. Do not be worried and upset; do not be afraid.” John 14:27
I love being at peace. It’s one of those things I greatly covet because of my temperament. I am a doer; always have things to do and achieve.
The down side of an achieving personality is a lack of contentment. You battle with comparison and envy and impatience and you are very hard on yourself and others. In other words, you easily lose joy and peace.
As a wife, seasons come and go. But God does not want you to have a seasonal marriage; happy when your husband is happy, sad when he is sad, grumpy when he is grumpy, discouraged when he is discouraged.
No, God wants you to be grounded in His peace. That means being able to stand on straight no matter what is going on with your man.
Bear in mind that the peace He gives you is not just for you, but for your home too.
I pray these verses encourage you, especially if your husband (or yourself) is discouraged.
If you need prayer, I am always here to pray with you. Use this form to send your prayer request.
Question: How do you stay encouraged as a wife when your husband is feeling down? Let’s talk in comments.
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