Early on, I struggled to teach intentional marriage and growth.
I felt like it was hypocritical, trying to teach others what I had not mastered perfectly.
The feelings of inadequacy were not new..
I gave my life to the Lord at a very young age; my “wild” teenage sins were listening to secular music and reading secular novels.
And for the longest time, I felt I had no real “testimony”.
I was born and bred in the country (and it doesn’t get more rural than African rural).
So I felt like I had no real voice, no experience, no much class. I was – still am – a conservative (that’s a pretty word for farm girl)
When I moved to the city in my early twenties, I was often at a loss, trying to mentor city people with all their “worldly” experiences.
Marriage swung by and my drive to help others was often knocked about by the familiar feelings inadequacy.
My husband and I were mentoring couples, organizing for marriage retreats and singles events before we were two years in marriage.
The pressures piled on.
How about you?
Do you struggle with feelings of inadequacy?
Where your passions and gifts look like they will never really grow up? Like there’s someone else who could do a better job of what you are trying to do?
Ever felt like God paired you with the wrong dream and passions?
Cos for every step you make, there seems to be another voice snapping at your heels, disqualifying you, admonishing you, rebuking you?
Lately have you had God go silent on you because you just couldn’t stop telling Him who how small He is in you?
(Shooting down yourself is the same as shooting God down)
What am learning..
I don’t know about you but I’ve come to learn that God’s abilities do not always clean out my slate; my experiences – or lack there of – remain.
My fears are not a figment of my imagination. Kind-of the same way those waves were not a figment of Peter’s imagination.
I have learned though (and still learning) that God will often give me dreams that I cannot achieve by my own strength.
He doesn’t use me because I have the best resume in the room. In fact to me it seems He’s drawn to those with horrid resumes (and no-resumes).
He uses the willing, not the able.
He does that so that when the dust settles and the work is done, it will be obvious to everyone, including you, that God did it.
Like Peter daring to step on stormy waters, I can choose to see Jesus who called me out of the boat.
Or I can choose to see the waves.
Both the waves and Jesus are real. But One is more powerful.
It comes down to choice.
Who will you believe today?
Your lack of experience and resources or the One who’s called you to a life of purpose?
The struggles in your marriage or the One who holds the answers?
Your empty bank account or the One who wants to meet all your needs?
Your tears and sorrow or the One who’s called you to a life of faith?
It’s a matter of choice.
You know why I no longer struggle (not that much anyway) with teaching intentional growth and marriage in the midst of my own imperfect journey?
Because I learned that God doesn’t use perfect people. Cos perfect people don’t need a Savior.
Question – Have you struggled with inadequacy? How did/do you overcome? Please share your Encouragement in Comments below!