Why should a wife concern herself with drawing boundaries for marriage? Why should we rethink boundaries for marriage in general?
Hebrews 13:4 tells us”Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
Often, when we read these verses we think of defilement as something that originates from outside, and only in the form of sexual intercourse.
We rarely think of defilement in the context of flirting (see Emotional Affair: Guarding Your Heart as a Wife) or putting another man ahead of your husband or being too busy for intimacy. (See Prioritizies: The Unpopular Gospel of Putting Your Marriage First)
But defilement can be internal (originating from within us) and can be other things alongside actual sexual intercourse.
When it’s internal, it can manifest as withholding sex as punishment for some wrong done. Or nurturing lustful thoughts towards other men.
We can also defile our marriage bed when we refuse to guard it; to put a hedge of protection over our entire marriage.
Why Drawing Boundaries For Marriage Is a Good Thing
The bedroom is rarely the first thing you see when you walk into a house; it’s typically down a hallway or some other place.
To guard the treasures in the bedroom, you must guard your whole house, right from the front door.
In other words to stay safe and thrive, you must guard your whole marriage, not just the bedroom.
In the past, I have taken some flak for encouraging boundaries in marriage. But the truth remains that we guard what we love, we protect what is important to us.
A couples relationship should be the most important thing, after their relationship with God and they should go out of their way to protect it.
What are you holding on to, perhaps from your days as a single woman?
What boundaries need to be re-drawn but you keep fighting and resisting?
Which relationships, especially male, is your husband uncomfortable with and what are you doing about it?
What area is God convicting you about your marriage?
Have you put worldly wisdom above the Bible? Who are you listening to concerning your marriage?
“Lord, thank you for the gift of marriage. I am in awe of how you connect two distinct people and call them one-flesh. I realize this is a divine connection, not something I can do by myself. I ask for your wisdom to prevail as I choose my friends and define boundaries. Help me Lord, to honor you first, as a married woman, and to honor my husband. Change my heart, align me, teach me how to keep a hedge over my marriage, over my bedroom.”
Does the idea of boundaries in marriage make you cringe? Are you wrestling with the overwhelm of new marriage and would benefit from a step by step guide on how to kick out fussing, anger, passive-aggressiveness from your relationship? Want to restore joy, healing and happiness to your marriage? Or maybe you just want to love better, create the marriage of your dreams, God’s way. Your marriage can change! Get on the road to a great marriage when you pick up my book Blues to Bliss: Creating Your Happily Ever After in the Early Years -> Amazon Paperback I Amazon Kindle I Barnes & Noble I PDF I UK/Europe PDF . Or click here to go to book page
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