Of Marriage, Love and Accountability – Do You Have to Choose? (Easter Reflections)
As I write this, it is the day after Easter Sunday.
For many, the weekend came with a lot more than a healthy reflection of Christ and His work among us.
How was your weekend? Was it filled with messages of how Christ loves and draws close those who do Him harm? And (directly stated or not) how you too should love and keep close those who do you harm?
Here are a few reminders for your heavy heart:
1. When He walked on earth, Jesus was always clarifying who He was, who God was, in contrast to who people thought He was.
2. He was clear that those who said they followed God while their actions, way of life, and fruit told otherwise were not walking in the truth.
3. He demonstrated and modeled a love that invited people to higher, not lower, values. In other words, everyone is welcome *and also* belonging isn’t synonymous with zero values. Because of His love, we bear good fruit. (Good fruit includes not harming others.)
Maybe you’ve come off Easter weekend needing new Easter reflections in the form of clarity, affirmation, and support for the real problematic individual (s) in your life because these past days..well, they stacked more agitation, shame, and confusion than you know what to do with.
Easter Reflections: Hold this closer
- Belonging does not mean there is no longer consequence, boundaries, expectations, or standards: The invitation to belong is also an invitation to walk in the way of love. (Because we are loved, we bear good fruit.)
- To say that everyone is invited and has a seat at God’s table is accurate. To say everyone is accountable to the standard of belonging, which is love is also accurate. We don’t earn Love. And we don’t trounce love without receiving correction. Or accountability.
- We are all welcome to God’s table, but it doesn’t mean we disrupt (cause harm) and everything carries on like we just didn’t.
If your heart is slightly frayed, this is your midday reminder: someone gets it. Many someones, actually. Whole communities who don’t think you must accept unlove to be a real Christian.
If you want to dive a little deeper into the story of safety, freedom, and healing and how you don’t have to choose between love and accountability, SHERO: Your WILD Guide to Warrior After Abuse is open for enrollment until 30th April 2023. (If it’s closed by the time you read this, you can still sign up for the wait list.)
SHERO is an online course by anti-abuse advocate Sarah McDugal for women who have survived trauma and abuse and are ready to move from survivor to warrior. It’s for women who want to feel empowered to use their experience to help others heal. It’s for those who love someone who has suffered trauma or abuse, and their pain has sparked your desire to become an advocate.
Being a real Christian isn’t synonymous with accepting harm. You never have to choose between loving others and holding others accountable. You can care for others and hold yourselves to a higher standard. Find out how.