Encouragement for newlyweds: Have you been asked to give a speech at a loved one’s wedding? Or perhaps you are preparing to offer words of wisdom to a newlywed couple?
Then you are in the right place! Today’s post is all about how to give intentional, encouraging advice to newly married couples.
It’s Ashley on the blog today and as someone who got married at 21, there was no shortage of marriage advice coming my way. Strangers, family, friends, and colleagues had a lot to say to my husband and me as our wedding day approached.
While well-meaning, most of it was unsolicited and unhelpful.
I was shocked at how many people made negative comments or inappropriate jokes even on our wedding day. Many shared anecdotes about how hard marriage is or made sure to tell us how we were taking a risk getting married so young.
Not exactly what you want to hear as you approach an exciting new season in life!
For many couples, particularly young ones, there can be a lot of negativity coming their way regarding marriage. If you are allowed to speak into that couple’s life, formally or informally, take that seriously. But don’t overthink it!
You have just been given a beautiful opening to be a source of encouragement for newlyweds. You have the opportunity to bring positivity as they begin their new lives together. You can be a supporting voice instead of a stumbling block.
A couple approaching this new season needs less negativity and more encouragement and genuine advice.
Let’s dive into some tips that will help you to craft an encouraging wedding speech or give meaningful informal encouragement to your loved ones on their wedding day.
What Advice Do You Give To Newlyweds?
1. Offer insight from your own positive experience
Personal experience is an incredible resource for offering advice and encouragement to a newlywed couples on their wedding day (or really anytime). It is so important for newly married couples to learn and hear wisdom from the examples of other healthy marriages.
Sharing about your own experience gives the couple something concrete and will create positive associations to marriage in their minds.
You could share a positive story about your early days as a married couple or a piece of impactful advice shared with you on your own wedding day.
For example, I share with all the couples I get to encourage to prioritize one’s friendship and make time for fun and laughter in your marriage. Someone shared that with me on my wedding day, and those words have stuck with me and made a positive impact on my marriage ever since.
Every now and then, one of us will notice that life has gotten a bit serious, and our interactions have less joy in them. We will then say, “we need to laugh together,” and make plans to enjoy a funny movie, play a game or do something fun with another couple.
Those simple words of advice made a profound impact on our marriage.
2. If you have no advice, offer supportive encouragement instead
You may have little personal experience with marriage. That is perfectly okay. However, inexperience or lack of knowledge can lead to a poor attempt to fill in the gap.
If you hold any negativity or resentment towards marriage, now is not the time to share it. Nor is it the time to share horror stories or negative anecdotes.
We are all fallible humans, and when we’re not sure what to say, we can often say the exact wrong thing or make inappropriate jokes to keep things light. If you are not married or are not able to offer positive advice, choose simple yet supportive encouragement for newlyweds instead.
This could look like simple well-wishes and congratulations if you are not giving a formal speech or toast.
If you are giving a formal speech but have no personal experience to draw from, you can gather wisdom from others and use the following few tips to provide you with the right words.
3. Share what you love about them as a couple
When in doubt about what to say, genuine compliments are always a great idea. In encouraging a couple on their wedding day, you cannot go wrong with affirming their good qualities.
How does it make you feel when someone encourages you with a compliment about your personality or how you handled a situation? Most of us love to receive affirmation and to hear what others like about us. It’s human nature.
Everyone loves to hear positive things about themselves. Offering genuine observations and affirmations about their relationship is a gift of positivity and feel-good hormones in the brain.
Maybe you’ve seen them work through a difficult season together or have noticed how well they communicate. Perhaps you have seen how they encourage one another or speak each other’s love language exceptionally well.
Whatever you have observed, their wedding day is a perfect time to call out and affirm the good things you have seen in their relationship.
4. Share encouragement for newlyweds by giving relevant, funny stories or anecdotes
You have probably seen this tactic used in wedding speeches before because it works.
Even in a private setting, sharing a funny story or amusing anecdote brings laughter to the day. And we all know laughter is medicine to the soul. (Proverbs 17:22)
You can share an innocent but humorous story you know about them as a couple or about one individual, especially if you have known them a long time.
I was recently at a wedding where the minister had known the couple for many years and had watched their relationship develop over time. He shared the story of their disastrous first date where they got lost in the woods hiking and related it to working together and overcoming obstacles as a married couple.
It was a perfect example of using humor in a relevant way that also offered supportive encouragement.
Be careful not to turn your time with the couple into a roast or to reveal embarrassing secrets. Keep it light and all in good fun.
If you are giving a formal speech at a wedding and are unsure if your story should be shared with others, just ask.
5. Point them to Christ
As believers, we know that marriage is a holy, God-ordained institution. When two come together, they are joined as one for the rest of their lives. (Matthew 19: 6)
One of the best things you can do as a couple enters into this union is to remind them of who joins them together.
You can offer your favorite scriptures about strength and marriage, share a personal story of God’s work in your relationship, or even pray over them.
One of the most encouraging parts of our wedding was when my father-in-law prayed out loud over us and our new marriage. It blessed us both and reminded us of where to focus our attention.
Many think that pointing the couple to Christ is the minister’s job, but as fellow believers, we have just as much of an opportunity to encourage them to build a Christ-centered marriage as the pastor does.
6. If you need to, borrow from the wisdom of others
There is already so much wisdom out there about marriage and encouragement for newlyweds; you do not need to reinvent the wheel. Sometimes in high-pressure situations, such as giving marriage advice for newlyweds at a wedding, our brains can fail us.
All the knowledge we have gathered over the years turns into white noise, and we can be left staring at a blank screen or piece of paper.
Gathering advice from others or utilizing the knowledge of marriage experts can help to overcome that hurdle.
Personally, I love hearing inspiring marriage quotes during speeches or wedding ceremonies. I loved reading them in our wedding cards.
Here are some wonderful ones you can use, should you need them:
Encouraging Words For Newlyweds
A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. – Ruth Bell Graham
Great marriages don’t happen by luck or by accident. They are the result of a consistent investment of time, thoughtfulness, forgiveness, affection, prayer, mutual respect, and a rock-solid commitment between a husband and a wife. – Dave Willis
There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage. – Martin Luther
Scripture says, in all labor there is profit and nowhere is this more true than in the marriage relationship. – Wayne Mack
A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. – Andre Maurois
It’s not the love that sustains the promise, it’s the promise that sustains the love. – Jefferson Bethke
In sharp contrast with our culture, the Bible teaches that the essence of marriage is a sacrificial commitment to the good of the other. That means that love is more fundamentally action than emotion. —Tim Keller
Encouragement for Newlyweds: Good Bible Verses for Newlyweds
Now the Lord of peace himself give you peace always by all means. The Lord be with you all ~ 2 Thessalonians 3:16
Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: ~ Hebrews 10:23-24
Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up ~ Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God ~ Philippians 4:6
Have you given a speech at a wedding? Or heard particularly striking words of wisdom for newlyweds at a wedding?
Please share your encouragement for newlyweds with us below in the comments!
Also check out this newlywed guide! Blues to Bliss: Creating Your Happily Ever After in the Early Years walks you through the eight common hot spots of a new marriage and shows you how to work out the kinks so you can love being married (No more pretending!) Find joy, even in imperfection, positively influence your marriage and create the relationship of your dreams. Check it out Amazon I Barnes & Noble I PDF.
About Writer: Ashley Nicole Harris is a writer and Bible teacher, whose mission is to see women’s lives changed by learning to know God intimately through His Word. She enjoys writing at Faithfully Planted reading while sipping a La Croix, and enjoying God’s beautiful creation with her husband of 7 years, Mark