Finding Peace in Singleness

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Today I’d like to welcome guest poster Nungari Mugi to share her journey as a single lady longing for marriage and how she’s finally found peace.

I hope it encourages you, dear single reader and hope it informs and stirs those of us who are married.

 

Finding peace in singleness

Today is my birthday and I realized that I have come a long way in my single-hood.

There was a time when my birthdays were spent in tears, because I was still not paired up.

Before you reprimand me for this, let me say that I am in my late 30’s, all my friends and even younger sisters are married with children.

I just wanted to be normal.

There are several challenges that come with being a senior single. I pray that none of you will have to go through unless it is the will of God for you:

1. You feel left out and forgotten by God.

There you are all by yourself and everyone around you is getting married.

You go to wedding after wedding until the weddings end and you start going to baby christenings.

You pray to God about marriage and like the woman who begged for her son’s healing He says not a word to you.

2. Everyone begins to give you suggestions.

Lose weight, dress differently, do your hair like this, wear some make up, on and on it goes.

If you follow all this advice you end up losing your own identity and becoming someone you don’t even recognize.

3. Some say you are intimidating to men.

You live in a nice apartment and you drive a nice car…

What does a man have to offer you?

Seriously?!

What’s a girl supposed to do?

4. There comes a time when your whole being wants to be a mother.

You want to carry a baby in your womb, but you need to have sex for that and you can’t do that because you are saved.

Talk about fighting this body! The need for a baby can become ridiculous, believe me!

People think adoption is the answer but its not.

Your body is telling you that you are of age and you need to carry a baby.

5.  Then there is the ever ticking clock that says you are getting older.

And the scientific evidence that says it becomes increasingly difficult to conceive after the age of 35.

Wait a minute. I haven’t even been located yet, leave alone married and trying to conceive!

Good thing Jesus can override that proverbial clock!

6. The ones who ridicule you, laugh at you or overlook you..

It’s amazing how being a senior single makes you lose status in our society.

Thank God for rest!

I can honestly now say that I am in a place of rest. I’m not trying to be anyone other than myself.

No losing weight, or doing my hair differently or having baby cravings!

I am finally at peace.

Even though every now and then I wonder if God remembers me, I know for sure that I am in the palm of his hand.

That comforts me as I continue to wait on the Lord for a husband.

Read more related posts

Why sex is worth waiting for

When marriage takes too long

2 things I did which helped me wait well for marriage

Question – How was your journey to marriage? Did you “wait” (or are you waiting) and what did you learn in your waiting? Share in the comments and encourage someone.

22 Comments

  1. Funny as this was something that I peace on until my entourage started pointing out. I need to remember this. God never forgets. He knows where He is taking me.

  2. Mh I am 31 and can relate to this sister, I crave a baby although I have one already I had when I was younger I wish that I can have 2 more and a loving husband that I willl be submissive to cook for him. Rush home after work to prepare dinner for him and kids, visit in-laws and all that. But the Lord has not forgotten us His timing is perfect

  3. I can totally relate with what you wrote…this waiting game ain’t easy. It’s my younger sister’s (4 years between us)wedding a month from today and I have not even been found. Sometimes I feel forgotten other times I am strong. I hope GOD comes through.

    1. It doesn’t sound easy atooom. I like what you’ve said about being strong in God….sometimes : ) I think life and waiting can be seasonal like that. One thing i now know is that God is faithful..not just in giving us the grace to wait..but in giving us the grace to enjoy life and have it abundant even as we wait. one day..in his timing. blessings to you.

  4. Seriously says:

    there are many of us men that really hate being single and alone too, and we’re hoping to meet a good woman to share our life with as well.

  5. Excellent post. I believe the key statement you made is when you said, ‘I’m not trying to be anyone other than myself.’ When we make up our minds and follow through to be the person God designed us to be, life becomes less stressful and more peaceful. We realize we don’t have to live up to others expectations. The scripture that preserved me during my singleness was, “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Keep the faith.

  6. I believe you’re an example from God of someone who can persevere in the flesh with His help. I don’t know the day of your blessings, but I do know they are promised from our Father in His exclusive way. You’re leaving a wake of honor with your life… For years my wake left devastation and while there is healing, there is a price. I’m praying for your joy to continue to be complete in our Father that He might bless more abundantly than we can fathom.

    1. Floyd, thank you for that awsome word picture of a wake, as a single it can become so frustrating waiting on the Lord in purity, while you see people who call themselves Christians who have been living together, then they decide to get married and seemingly have a blessed marriage. Yet, here you are refusing to fornicate, refusing to date unbelievers, refusing to be built up by flirting with other men leading them on ( which, I see alot of girls do, to build self-esteem)… It is very difficult to be a single in this day and age – I’ve been called “self- righteous” for not having sex before marriage. With my generation it seems sex is the norm, and if your not, then your not worthy of a guys time( this is among “Christian” men)…. Anyway, reading your encouragement gave me a little bit of hope. Even though I feel beat down and alone, God sees the sacrifice of living a holy life and He sees the wake.

      1. Not only does He see the wake, He sees your future that will be better than you could ever have imagined. As a dad of three daughters, I’m encouraged by your determination and perseverance. You are someone that I can use as an example for my girls… Thank you for that. For as many as judge you, I’m sure there are as many who are encouraged. What an impact you can have on this next generation of women who are looking for someone to show them how to walk a straight and narrow path. Your ministry is your life. God bless you.

        1. Thank you Floyd! To God be the glory, I believe having a godly father who supports you and loves you is one of the richest blessing that a Christian single girl can have. In a world that says your not pretty enough, with guys telling you they would love you more if you did “this”… It’s having a godly father that gives you that cheerleader in your corner to stand against the temptations of this world… Your daughters will be richly blessed by your prayers and encouragement more then you can ever know. I will be praying God gives them the strength to stand against the waves and make their own wakes for others to see.
          God bless!

      2. AC, I echo Floyd’s words – I admire and I am encouraged by your perseverance. The bible is clear “For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” Mathew 2:13-14. You are an example to many, sister. Keep on, God sees you, He will continue to strength you and cause you to be a light and encouragement to many. I am so proud of your stand for God, holiness and purity.

        1. Thank you for sharing that piece of scripture, God has been ministering that exact passage to me, talk about confirmation!
          Your blog has truly been a rich blessing in my life, thank you for your encouragement 🙂

      3. AC, that’s sad about the sex before marriage. In a sense, it’s like you’re getting persecuted for your faith – or at least put down by it. But at the time it must seem incredibly annoying!

        When you talk about the Christians who live together and then get married and seem to have a blessed marriage – the marriage equivalent to that is that you see married woman who got fed up with their husbands for some reason or other, divorce them, and then get new great and godly husbands with seemingly blessed marriages – but that’s another activity God doesn’t support.

        It really takes work to see life from God’s perspective and then submit to what He wants. But it’s so great that you’re working at it! I wish there were more people out there working on it – it’s a great testimony to others.

    2. Floyd thank you for this encouragement. It has lifted up many hearts. Thank you for the wisdom and your heart, God bless you richly

  7. Paula Kent says:

    Waoo!! Great read…am so encouraged!

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