We miss the entire point of sexual intimacy in marriage when we start looking at it like a chore, completely disengaged in the mind and just another thing to cross off a long to-do list.
Sometimes, we don’t know we’ve engaged chore-mode until we hit sexual blues and start looking at the root of our issues.
God did not create sex for your husband alone. He created it for you too. You are supposed to enjoy lovemaking!
It’s not something you do for your husband; it’s something you do together and for one another.
Until you realize that it’s yours to enjoy, sex will be a chore.
A rather pesky one at that, the one that sits right at the bottom of your to do list, right after cleaning your closet (how often do you clean your closet in a year?!).
If we understood just how much our enjoyment blesses our husbands, we’d purpose to have a mind makeover in this vital area marriage.
Why we need a makeover
The reason a good head is so important is because unless your mind is in the game, your body will struggle to follow.
Typically, wives have it the other way round – we think that our bodies or emotions lead and then our mind follow.
In other words, we want to feel in the mood before we make love.
But the truth is that for most women sex begins up there in the mind.
Here’s how I began to learn that truth:
I walked into our hotel room on our wedding night, tingling from head to toe with the glorious events of the day.
The food, the guests, the dancing, the music, the ceremony, the beautiful flowers and decorations – my head was a flame with thoughts from the day.
As we got into the “festivities” of our evening, I could not switch off my brain.
The hotel room TV was running in the background and it added to the conundrum in my brain.
Suffice it to say, I was distracted! I did not know how to switch off the drama and distractions in my head (and room) in order to be in the moment with my husband.
I am not the only wife who has struggled or struggles to switch off distractions of the mind.
In fact, my wedding night distresses play across many young marriages today – only with different kinds of clutter and distractions.
Unresolved issues from the day, fatigue and stress from work, a long to do list, the call from his mom, the dirty dishes in the sink.
We drag all these things from our day into our bedroom and we hope to experience great love making.
You can’t experience great lovemaking when your mind is on other things. That mental and heart clutter has to be switched off!!
The content in this post is adapted from my upcoming book Blues to Bliss: Creating Your Happily-ever-after in the Early Years which is available 2nd February 2015. (that’s next Monday!!)
Update: The book is now available. Click here
I am super-stoked-excited about it!!!!
I have poured my heart into this book, sharing my struggles and challenges as a new wife and how God transformed our marriage. I pray my journey and lessons will enlighten every wife who feels her husband can do with a little bit (or a whole lot of) changing!
The Bonus Giveaway
Last week I promised to unveil the two bonus gifts I am giving away during the launch week.
These two gifts are available exclusively to anyone who purchases the book between February 2nd and 6th.
Here they are!
1. A brand new 7-Day Devotional For Wives to help you get deeper in the areas I talk about in the book.
2. Marriage Love Check – Scriptures & more thoughts for specific marriage hotspots.
To get access to these two gifts (available only in digital format) simply purchase the book when it releases next week, between 2nd February and 6th February and email me the receipts on firstname.lastname@example.org.
Want to help me spread the word?
Would you consider helping me spread the word about this book?
Please visit the Book Page here for quotes and images to share on your Social Media. As you share, please use the hashtag #BluestoBlissBook so I and others can find you.
Also let your friends know about the book! Blues to Bliss will makes a great Valentines gift, not just for you but for new brides, brides-to-be and all wives in general!
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