As a newlywed five years ago and from the moment I said “I do”, I thought I had a huge neon light on my forehead proclaiming my new married status.
I was reminded of this the other day when I walked into a FedEx office and a gentleman struck up conversation as I waited on the line.
The conversation ended shortly and I made my way to the counter to be served and later headed out to a computer station at the back.
Minutes later the gentleman showed up at my desk and I realized he had missed the neon light on my forehead and my wedding band so prominently displayed.
Just because you got married
Now I am not trying to put down this gentleman – in fact he was very kind and courteous when explained the neon light : )
Here’s my point – sometimes as married women we assume all areas of our lives snapped to attention the moment we said “I do”.
We engaged some sort of neutral gear and thought our relationship would insulate us from distractions and unwanted attention.
Distractions, not just in the form of persons. But in form of jobs, ministry, school, extended family – anything and anyone that tries to take the place reserved for your husband.
Unfortunately, our lives and circumstances will not automatically line up to support and celebrate our vows.
It’s our job to make sure they do.
How to let others know you are married
Cleaving is not an immediate automatic process. It’s more of a journey – we cleave in deeper ways as we grow.
The journey has a first step though and until we take that first step, nothing changes in our lives.
So the first step in letting others know you are married is first and foremost understanding and accepting that you are.
Accepting and deciding that the rest of your life will henceforth support, honor and celebrate your vows.
Living your life in a way that shows that you are a wife first..not a daughter or worker or sister or friend.
Now I am not saying that we don’t love or honor our marriages.
Mostly we do. But often times we underestimate the intentionality needed to grow a great marriage.
We love our sweet husband yes, but we fail to see why we need to remain 100% unavailable to other options and distractions.
We think “we are in love”, “our marriage is strong”, “we trust each other” – nothing can rock that.
But everything changes when we say “I Do”
The newlywed months and years are obviously filled with many adjustments and changes.
Hence all the more reason to have our belief system and lifestyle in order.
Indeed we can make the newlywed years easier by laying a solid foundation for our marriage.
Strong foundations, which are the bedrock of every happy marriage, don’t just happen.
They are intentionally laid by two people who are determined to thrive, not just survive.
Two people who dig in and do what needs to be done to protect and honor and celebrate their union.
Read this post The unpopular gospel of putting your marriage first
Your turn – what do you think? To what lengths should we got to protect, honor and celebrate our vows? Please share in Comments, I love hearing you!