Fifteen years ago, my husband turned down being in a relationship with me.
At least that’s how I perceived it.
We first met at church, at a leadership class we were facilitating. A friendship developed over class breaks, Sunday evening teas with another friend, texts, and emails during the week.
My girl’s brain went, “Something’s cooking. This friendship has an agenda…”
So I asked.Tommy wrote back (yeah, I asked via email. Stealth) and he said, “No Agenda.”
I had felt a spark: Even our friend teased us about it. But in that email, it was clear. (Tommy had an explanation, and I share it and more of our story in my newlywed guide, Blues to Bliss: Creating Your Happily Ever After in the Early Years.)
With Tommy’s clarification, we drifted apart. Two years went by. Then he got in touch when I lost my dad and we started talking again. I felt the pull and immediately knew my grieving heart couldn’t take any more, especially uncertainty.
So I turned to God (I should have done that the first time!) I fasted and prayed. I wanted a clear answer from God about this guy. But I didn’t get the answer I was looking for. I didn’t get clarity about him.
Instead, God gave me something better: He gave me peace. In place of restlessness, churning, and fear, I had an inner settling in my heart that whatever happened, He was in control. He would guide me through uncertain relationship waters. I would be okay.
I didn’t know it at that time, but Tommy was doing his own praying too. Individually, we also sought input from our mentors.
PS: If you’re single, I highly encourage you to check in with someone other than yourself before you go “official” with someone. I know that level of accountability feels like a buzz-kill but trust me, talking to a trusted, healthy someone else is good medicine and a reality check for the love-struck soul.
The Power of Prayer in Marriage
Why is prayer important in marriage?
When I look back at our life together and all the decisions we’ve made, prayer has been central. God had a hand in our relationship right from the beginning. So what is prayer exactly?
Prayer used to be complicated in my head until I learned that it’s simply a conversation with God. There are different types of prayer, but overall, prayer is talking to our Creator. Through prayer, we express our faith, trust, and dependence on Him.
Prayer works not because of who we are but because of Who we pray to. Prayer is also an expression of worship, where we worship Him for Who He is and what He has done.
Discerning God’s will through prayer, reading His word, and listening to wise counsel are invaluable disciplines for the Christian couple.
For the newlywed couple, sometimes there’s a lot of uncertainty about the future. Talking to God begins to shift and shape the conversation in our heads so we can have peace and confidence, even with the unknown.
In Philippians 4:6 ESV, Paul encourages us to pray.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”
He writes in 1 Thessalonians 5: 16 – 18,
“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
Inviting the presence of God through prayer has helped my husband and me through:
- Job loss
- Business failure
- Threat to our lives
- A massive relocation
- Starting life in a foreign country
I want you to experience the same confidence and hope we’ve had in our marriage right from the beginning. I believe that couples who lean into the presence of God through prayer, reading His Word, and fellowship with others can walk through hard seasons with more strength, courage, and clarity.
I believe in the power of corporate prayer.
If you like praying for others or are looking for ways to support my ministry, I welcome you to join the Intentional Today Prayer Team. This team lifts the needs and requests of our community in prayer.
Here’s what you’d be committing to when you join the team:
- You will sign up to receive prayer requests from our marriage community. Once a month, you will receive an email from me with the requests.
- You will pray for those requests as the Lord leads you and in your own time.
- Once in a while, you will also receive ministry-specific prayer requests.
- You will commit to keeping confidentiality.
Will you join me today? Sign up here, and let’s change marriages around the world together (starting with yours.) If you would like to submit a prayer request, you can do so through my contact page here.
What happens when a wife prays for her husband?
God will never turn us down: not in the sense that human beings tend to do. To discover how prayer works in marriage and help you pray for your spouse more often, check out these posts
Your turn: When you hear “power of prayer in marriage” what comes to mind? How has prayer transformed your relationship? Let’s chat in Comments!
Check out this newlywed guide! Blues to Bliss: Creating Your Happily Ever After in the Early Years walks you through the eight common hot spots of a new marriage and shows you how to work out the kinks so you can love being married (no pretending!) Find joy, even in imperfection, positively influence your marriage and create the relationship of your dreams. Check it out Amazon I Barnes & Noble I PDF.