5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me About Puberty and Growing Up
So I am one of those kids who loathed growing up.
A lot of my angst had to do with the fact that I wanted to be a boy.
When my chest started budding and my hips started widening and weird moods set in, it felt as if my ambition of becoming a boy was shot.
What followed was the most dreary season of my little life.
Here are five things I wish someone told me about growing up.
1. Periods will not kill you.
I started my periods when I was thirteen years old. Blood coming out of my body every single month forever? I was horrified. Then the cramps started.
Someone, please encourage a little girl that at some point you get used to monthly periods? That you can go on with life and not die a little death, every thirty days?
2. Boys passing notes does not make you a bad girl.
When I was in eighth grade, a classmate passed me a note. In the letter, he said he liked me and wanted us to be friends.
That whole weekend (it was a Friday evening when he thrust the crumpled note in my hand and took off), I felt like I had sprouted horns and leaves on top of my head. I was crushed.
And I thought my mum could read my mind and figure out her daughter had been bad girl (i.e., attracted a boy’s attention.)
I wish someone had told me that boys noticing girls is a regular part of growing up. When you catch a boy’s attention, it doesn’t mean you are a bad girl. It means you are a girl.
3. You’ll get used to picking up periods supplies.
Going to the shopkeeper to pick up my periods’ supply was one of the most traumatic things I went through in my early teens.
Really, it felt as bad as changing a leaky pad in-front of fourteen year old boys. Major Trauma.
Looking back, it would have been nice to have someone buy them for me those early months. Like seriously, save a girl the distress.
My mum noticed my thorough discomfort but at that point in her life, I suspect she was trying to convince me to get over my gender identity confusion so she figured she would keep me on that train.
4. A mom-daughter talk is reasonable.
I missed the whole in-depth mom-daughter talk. Not to vilify my mom or anything: apparently, 100 percent of moms mess up one way or another. (Because even healthy moms are human.)
But it would have been nice to go beyond “you are a big girl now, don’t play with boys.”
For the most part, I figured things out through observing and failing.
My older sister helped with a few practical things though. Like she taught me how to walk normally while carrying an enormous patch of menstrual wear between your legs. (All the points she earned were immediately deducted because she laughed the whole time.)
Looking back and although I needed “the talk,” I wholly believe I would have climbed out of the window and died in embarrassment had my mom initiated it. But at least I would have evaporated a very educated girl.
5. Becoming a young woman is normal.
At about ten or eleven, I began to experience mysterious aches on my chest. Shortly, two curiously painful lumps formed on my chest aka breasts. Soon after that, my hips start to grow in the opposite direction of each other.
Then my mom got all serious about wearing dresses, over shorts. Menstrual periods followed. And boys started looking at me. It was a confusing time.
It wasn’t until recently that I discovered growing up is tough for most girls, especially and depending on how you are brought up.
Even for those who have fantastic support, it’s still a jarring experience, leaving childhood and becoming a young woman.
I don’t know about you, but if you are reading my blog today, chances are, you did grow up.
The thing I have learned though, now that I am all grown up and married is that human children are brought up by human moms. We need to cut mama some slack.
Nevertheless, now that we are all grown, we don’t have to press “play” and dance to the old record. Or worse blunder our way with our own daughters. There’s a better way.
That’s why today, I am thrilled to introduce a one-of-a-kind product for moms (or aunts/big sisters/guardians) with pre-teens and teens.
It’s called “The Whole Story: Not-So-Scary Talks About Sex, Puberty, and Growing Up.” It’s an online video-based course where moms can teach daughters about sex and puberty.
If you are a newlywed wife (many of my readers are) you might not have teens in your house yet. But you might have younger sisters or nieces in the family. Or you might just have preteens and teens.
I’ve got wonderful news for making growing up easier for your girl (and yourself!)
A few months ago, a mom and her two daughters sat trading stories about growing up.
Specifically how mom brought them up. One daughter casually mentioned what a difference it would have made, to have someone close to her age talk to her about some “growing-up” things.
And a light bulb went off in mom’s head!
What if there was a course designed to help pre-teens and teens go through the highs and lows of growing up: periods, body changes, boys and peer pressure, sex, and self-care?
What if the course was led by “funny big sisters?” The moms would be provided with audios and videos to guide their daughters through the process. And then together moms and daughters would have discussion questions, checklists, and mother-daughter activities.
Short videos would start the conversations so that the moms could continue them. The course would not be a replacement for moms, and they would still get to impart their values.
That’s how “The Whole Story: Not-So-Scary Talks about Sex, Puberty and Growing Up“ was born.
WATCH SAMPLE VIDEOS (Scroll to the bottom of that page)
Katie and Rebecca Gregoire and their mom have created a beautiful product for moms and their daughters.
If the last name sounds familiar, it’s because Katie and Rebecca are daughters of Sheila Gregoire, the woman behind To Love Honor and Vacuum blog, one of the largest Christian marriage and sex website on the internet.
(Katie and Rebecca are 20 & 22 and have their own ministries!)
I would have been shocked had my own mom dropped “the talk” on me from out of the blues!
Perhaps it’s a typical (or not so typical, please let me know!) reaction of a prepubescent girl. But weaving in someone closer to my age would have made a difference!
In fact, that’s a role my older sister played – all though she didn’t know much at fourteen years old herself!
So here’s why I think the course is a fantastic resource for parents (or the sisters/aunts/guardians who love them.)
- Kids will learn about all of this in school and from peers!
I heard really scary stories about puberty. One afternoon a rumor began to spread in school among the girls that boys of a certain age, wearing special glasses could see through all our dresses.
Horrified by the prospect, my little friend and I refused to play outside for a while!
I cannot believe the absurd things I believed but guess what, many young girls wrestle with heavy lies until someone tells them the truth. If you have a daughter, little sister or niece, this is a great resource to make sure they are hearing real facts from a safe (and sane) source!
- Talking about sex with daughters can be scary.
Let us take the fear out of it, and make it way less awkward! If you are an older sister or aunt, you can purchase the course and gift it to her mom.
- This is also an indispensable resource for single dads wanting to make sure their daughters have the information they need, but unsure where to start.
If you know a single dad, this is a great resource to recommend, perhaps even gift.
So here is the nitty-gritty of the course
It comes in two versions: One for 10-12-year-olds and one for 13-15-year-olds. You can buy them separately, or together, like this:
* Separately, each course is $39, and you get access for one year.
* You can buy them both for $69, with access for one year.
* OR you can buy a VIP version for $99, with lifetime access and extra materials, including audio training and pep talks from Sheila Gregoire. It will include: advice from her husband Keith about when things are weird enough with periods or puberty that you should see a pediatrician (Keith is one!); parenting audio downloads featuring Rebecca and Sheila on how to parent teens well; and access to a Facebook group where people can ask questions and suggest topics for webinars (which they can then get for free).
And here’s where the deal gets SWEETER:
This week only (24th to 30th September) Sheila is offering my readers $30 off the VIP pack. That means you get both videos and a lifetime access for $69! Simply use the coupon “Intentional” (without the brackets) at Check Out.
Growing up can be scary for both daughters and moms. But we can do something to smoothen the road!
Now let’s chat about growing up! What things do you wish someone told you about puberty, sex and growing up? Did you have “the talk” with your mom (or someone else) and how did that go? I’ve been super open about my experience..lol and I am hoping you can talk to me about yours! Let’s talk in comments.
And remember this amazing course is meant to help parents (or aunties/big sisters!) start the conversation with their daughters in a natural un–intimidating way! It’s not a replacement for mom! Check it out here. If you don’t have pre-teens or teens, consider gifting it to a parent who needs it!
Ps. If $69 just too much money? Remember, you can still get one year access to EITHER the younger version OR the older version for $39! See the details of the different plans, (simply scroll down) and get what’s right for your family.
Now lets chat in comments! What things do you wish someone told you about puberty, sex and growing up? Did you have “the talk” with your mom (or someone else) and how did that go?