divorce

Why “Not All Churches” is a Problematic Response to Religious and Marriage Harm
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Why “Not All Churches” is a Problematic Response to Religious and Marriage Harm

“Not all churches.” Every so often, after reading my writings about marital and religious harm, someone will decide to let everybody know that what they just read does not apply to every situation. I am okay with fine distinction. But where there’s a history of minimizing, deflecting, and blame-shifting whenever harm is called out, we…

10 Things Christians Need to Know About Destructive Marriages
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10 Things Christians Need to Know About Destructive Marriages

I wish those who think I’m hard on marriage could read the messages I receive or spend time in the comments on my (and other advocates’) social media and blogs. I wish Christians could understand the devastation arising out of coercion and domination: How intimate partner terrorism wrecks the mind, soul and body, and the…

Addressing the Lie “Don’t Take Marriage Advice from Divorced People”
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Addressing the Lie “Don’t Take Marriage Advice from Divorced People”

“Don’t take marriage advice from divorced people.” If you are Christian, you’ve probably heard the words or some variation of the same.   It’s a common belief in Christian circles, that to divorce is to automatically be biased against all relationships. Thus, the advice runs, one of the best things married people can do to…

8 Toxic Beliefs Keeping Christian Women Trapped in Bad Marriages
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8 Toxic Beliefs Keeping Christian Women Trapped in Bad Marriages

What type of “teachings” keep women stuck in bad marriages? I dare to say the ones with “virtue” written all over them. The ones with an appearance of goodness. The biggest offenders are the ones allowing the majority to continue feeling good about themselves and their belief systems. They leave everyone feeling communal and happy,…

How Do You Convince Your Loved One that Getting Away From Your Abuser was the Right Thing to Do?
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How Do You Convince Your Loved One that Getting Away From Your Abuser was the Right Thing to Do?

Someone asked “how do you convince a loved one, through Scripture, that getting away from your abuser was the right thing to do?” Quick answer. You don’t. You don’t need to convince anyone. But let’s dig deeper. Someone who doesn’t see abuse or the need for safety for the victim will not be convinced by…