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“Not all churches.” Every so often, after reading my writings about marital and religious harm, someone will decide to let everybody know that what they just read does not apply to every situation. I am okay with fine distinction. But where there’s a history of minimizing, deflecting, and blame-shifting whenever harm is called out, we…
I wish those who think I’m hard on marriage could read the messages I receive or spend time in the comments on my (and other advocates’) social media and blogs. I wish all Christians could understand the profound impact of coercion and dominance: How intimate partner terrorism wrecks the mind, soul, and body, and the…
“Don’t take marriage advice from divorced people.” If you are Christian, you’ve probably heard the words or some variation of the same. It’s a common belief in Christian circles, that to divorce is to automatically be biased against all relationships. Thus, the advice runs, one of the best things married people can do to…
What type of “teachings” keep women stuck in bad marriages? I dare to say the ones with “virtue” written all over them. The ones with an appearance of goodness. The biggest offenders are the ones allowing the majority to continue feeling good about themselves and their belief systems. They leave everyone feeling communal and happy,…
Last week on Instagram, I had a couple of people argue against Christians divorcing for abuse reasons. I engaged with one Commenter in particular but later changed my mind and deleted the thread as it became clear the winding discourse was not helpful, especially for readers in coercive/violent marriages. Victims and survivors already receive enough…
Someone asked “how do you convince a loved one, through Scripture, that getting away from your abuser was the right thing to do?” Quick answer. You don’t. You don’t need to convince anyone. But let’s dig deeper. Someone who doesn’t see abuse or the need for safety for the victim will not be convinced by…