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“Marriage is not supposed to make you happy; it’s a ministry” is a message that can lead to terrible outcomes for women. This week, a reader sent me a video clip of someone being interviewed on national TV.* In the video, she argues that marriage is not intended to make us happy because it’s a…
Is it possible to have a happy marriage..without gender-specific roles, 24/7 sacrifice, and the death of your personhood? We know that growth and fulfillment as a couple are not handed on a silver platter, but what if cultural and religious conditioning makes the intentional work of marriage significantly harder? What if you could learn how…
Are men designed to obsess about sex? This week, I came across a post on Sheila Gregoire’s Facebook page where she was “fixing” a quote by popular marriage author Kevin Leman. The quote is from Leman’s book Sheet Music, where he writes, “Let’s talk about making Mr. Happy smile. Mr. Happy likes to be kissed.”…
Are men and women more different than alike in relationships? Popular evangelical teachings often portray them as two distinct species. But what does the research say? Sometimes back, one of my readers tagged me under a Facebook post discussing “love” and “submission.” I’ve written quite a bit on those two subjects on this blog. In…
“Marriage is hard” is how some spouses avoid taking individual responsibility in marriage. When I was newly married, I thought all problems between a couple were something both people needed to work on: All issues were solvable. Even where one person was at fault, I was taught that prayer, patience, and better instruction would fix…
Pastors and accountability is an uncomfortable mix for some Christians. I’ve seen people (myself included) told, “Be careful,” “Don’t be so willing to throw the first stone,” or “It’s a slippery slope,” when they address a harmful Christian teaching. It’s almost as if some Christians don’t believe church leaders are normal human beings who make…