This is a guest post by Tabitha Musya. More about Tabitha at the end of the post.
1966, was a very good year.
She’s 23. A teacher by profession.
Slender then, she stands at a proud 5″6 inches.
She fusses a little with her fitting wedding gown, simple cotton with an occasional touch of lace.
Nervousness and anxiety gets her counter-checking the hemming.
She tugs carefully at a stitch that took in a little more fabric than it was entitled.
She kicks up to see her feet. She bends to remove an imaginary speck of dust, stands and braces herself.
She gives her un-polished finger nails another buff using her handkerchief, puts it in her purse and puts on her white elbow length gloves.
Wipes off some talcum caught on her earlobe and satisfied with her reflection on the mirror at the back of her comb, she turns towards the door.
A supplies technician at the only railway company of three year old country, Kenya.
At 5″ 8, his fitting two-button khaki suit complement his height with his pants falling half an inch short at the sole of his shoe.
As he bends to give his shoe an extra unnecessary shine, he can almost see his reflection off it.
For the umpteenth time he counter-checks his socks making a mental note, they’ll definitely tear if he tugs at them again.
He tucks in his shirt some more and with it, some of the tension and anxiety he harbored.
He stands at the end of the aisle at the front of the little church hall, mentally feeling the wedding bands in his shirt pocket.
And she stands quietly at the other end of the aisle, gazes at the flower petals littered on the walk way, and she takes her first step towards him.
The pastor belts a random hymn..What can wash away my stain?
April 6th, 2014, seven daughters, four sons and twenty grandchildren later later, the couple above celebrated their 48 years in marriage.
I am fortunate to know them as my parents.
Through God’s grace, they are alive today, standing tall though a little weathered by the seasons life.
At 5 foot 4, I inherited the shape of his head, her strictness and her complexion.
My parents have not separated or divorced in their 48 years of marriage.
Being the last born, I have spent more time with them, maybe a little more than my older siblings.
And my parents, though imperfect have shown me that marriage works.
The family is the smallest unit that makes up a nation. I believe that family is in the heart of God.
Marriage and family are meant to be in tandem.
God endorsed Marriage. God approves marriage. He runs this show, if we let Him, because it’s a partnership.
My parents taught us to pray at quite the tender age. They instilled in us the value of involving God in all facets of life.
I grew up, I rebelled, I wandered..but when I found me back to God, the very fundamentals they taught us stood.
2. Takes two to Tango
It takes two to have agreement. It takes two to have marriage vows stay in place. It takes two to resolve conflict.
Bottom line? Both of you need to want to work it out.
48 years is a long time not to let harsh words escape your lips, not to fight in front of your children.
I have seen good relationships come to a drastic end because well, one party is not putting much effort to work a conflict out.
3. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive.
My mother does not have a time-keeping bone in her.
Father on the other hand is a clock. That and he’s always a mile ahead.
He can do both his and her work and Mama dear will still not make it on time.
Just because some similarities brought you together it does not guarantee a smooth sailing.
You might have similar pursuits but DIFFERENT ways in achieving them.
And me thinks that this is what causes conflict in marriage/relationships.
Maybe she likes doing the dishes in the morning but nothing helps him sleep better at night than an empty sink. Less bugs you know.
Or maybe she is a perfectionist, but him, he finds order in chaos.
Fact is, you’ll be going home at the end of the day to a whole different individual.
Time speeds by..
Fact also, it takes one-day-at-a-time until you look back and it hits you, it’s 48 been years!
Seasons have a way of keeping you busy and occupied and before you know it, years have sped by.
When my time comes, I will want to someday look back and say without shadow of doubt “but it was just yesterday!”
Question: What positive lessons have you learned from your parents or mentors marriage? Please share in Comments