As you may have noticed, I’ve been writing more posts geared towards singles and those contemplating marriage.
Why save marriages before they start
I am always amazed when, on a very hot day here in America (over 90F/32C ), someone will inadvertently say to me
“You must be comfortable in this heat ..cos Africa is hotter than this, right?“
It’s amazing the ideas people have about a continent they’ve never visited.
Where the only “clue” they have is what they watch on TV.
In the same way people who are not married can have extreme inaccurate views about marriage.
Some will imagine that marriage is a vast hot desert of difficulties and others swing to the other extreme – think it’s a vast bed of roses.
Now as marrieds, we can either sit back and allow all the misinformation to continue.
Or can perk up and say “hey you know what, I am married and I have some real truths. Forget what you see on TV”
As a married person, you can bring perspective and sanity to all the craziness going on in the world today.
It’s not a ministry, it’s responsibility
Now I know, you did not sign up for “marriage ministry” – you don’t feel ‘called’ to this kind of thing.
Frankly, neither do I. I don’t feel called to marriage ministry and neither did I sign up for anything.
I got married, period. And began opening my mouth, whenever opportunity presented itself, to share what I was learning.
I don’t think we “sign up” for some of these “ministries”. We just make choices, and these choices come with sought of responsibility.
Being married, doing things God’s way, makes us “experts” on something.
And we owe it to ourselves and to others, to share what we know.
Perfection not needed
Sometimes we hold back from sharing what we know because we feel unqualified – our marriages are imperfect.
Let me just unburden you, perfect relationships turn off singles too.
No one wants to hear that you don’t struggle, that you’ve figured out everything and life is perfect in marriage lala land.
You don’t need a formal pulpit to share what you know. Opportunities are all around us.
There are curious and hungry (angry too) hearts and minds in your family, church, work place. Conversations are happening everywhere.
Teaching can happen in the least likely moments – like that ‘relationships drama/scoup’ that takes place in most offices.
An idle conversation with a single person.
A loopy conversation on marriage (that you’d normally avoid) on social media.
Opening your heart and home to singles for fun, food and fellowship.
Working hard on your marriage in order to be an example to others!
Am not saying that marrieds are know-it-alls who should impose themselves on others.
Am just proposing that we need to become more open and willing to share the truth we know.
All it takes for evil to triumph..
Sometimes all it takes for evil to triumph is for a good man/woman to say nothing.
Am not being negative here but I don’t think the world will suddenly wake up and decide to do marriage God’s way.
I actually think that it will continue to stumble along that proud path which unbridled disobedient defiant flesh loves.
But if we married people, those who know God and enjoy doing marriage His way, begin to talk to our circles and share the truth we know, we can make a real difference.
If we stop thinking about the crowds and start thinking about the one person we can influence, we make a real impact from the bottom up.
Then will not have to shout ourselves hoarse when the world bashes marriage and commitment, because we’ll be making a difference right where it matters – in our families and communities.
Question – What do you think, can marrieds do a better job of sharing and teaching Godly marriages to our world? How can we do that? Please share your thoughts in Comments
Ps. For all marrieds, I hope these singles-themed thoughts can provide good conversation points. Share them with your single friends/family/acquaintances. (Find a list of other Singles-geared posts here).
Also share your wisdom in Comments! I always put out a question at the end of an article and many readers read the comments. Your wisdom and insight will help many.
* After I wrote this post, I came across a post by Paul Byerly (of The Generous Husband blog) and he shares similar thoughts on taking responsibility from the roots. You can read the post here.