Popping the question, “Will you marry me?” is a big deal.
In the past couple of weeks, I have seen four young leaders I’ve mentored and coached for years enter into courtship/engagement.
I’m very excited for them.
I’ve watched them grow spiritually and mentally; particularly one, from a somewhat timid girl to a courageous young woman.
Their decision to start a journey of a lifetime is laudable. Ok, I know they’ve only started courtship so maybe I shouldn’t get carried away.
But I have high hopes for them and I’m confident they will do well.
Because commitment is a word many fear, not because they hate to but rather are afraid of failing in the process.
Take my four friends for example.
Popping the question, “Will you marry me?” was a big deal for the men. It took courage. The ladies involved could have said no. But the possibility of rejection did not deter the guys.
True love is indeed audacious.
Beyond Will You Marry Me, Marriage Is Spelled C-o-m-m-i-t-m-e-n-t
Jeff Goins, in his book Wrecked, talks about how our adolescent culture continues to encourage more adventures and less commitment.
Now, there’s a place for both.
But sadly, the adventure tendency remains an increasing trend in marriages across many cultures today. Some even boast, “You can quit when you’re fed up”.
I recently read on Twitter: Marriage is spelled c-o-m-m-i-t-m-e-n-t.
After 3 years of marriage, I can confirm that’s true.
“Will you marry me?” is a question God intends to wreck your life, for good. If you’re married, you will know this to be true. But, it must be followed up with commitment.
Fear Meets Grace
Ah, the fear of commitment!
Yet, if God is in the decision boat with you, you need not fear. Truth is, you will never be 100% ready for marriage. You cannot tick all the boxes.
I remember when we began our own journey to marriage; I wasn’t fully ready but God was. After 3 years, He’s still working and I’m still learning.
Sometimes I’m slow, other times I get it.
But my fears have met His grace.
You too can allow His grace to settle your fears.
Marriage and God Moments
Marriage is full of God Moments:
moments you discover you’re so inadequate and God is more than enough for both of you
moments you realize you don’t deserve the wife or husband God has blessed you with
moments you ask yourself, “How do you do it, Lord?”
moments God blows you away
moments of sheer joy and pain
moments you learn to shut up
moments you learn to speak up
moments you yield and let the other have their wish
moments you laugh and cry together
moments you convince yourself “It’s OK to lose an argument”
moments you have little and need to cut your excesses
moments when doing right becomes more important than being right
moments you must fight for the sanity of your marriage
moments you must defend your partner despite his shortcomings
moments you ask yourself, “Was this this man or woman I fell in love with?”
moments the bills keep piling up and income is not looking like it would cover outgoings
moments you decide saving for your children’s future is priority over your convenience
moments everything seem to be going wrong
moments it all starts to come together and everything begins makes sense again.
So knowing this much, “Will you still marry me?”
Marriage is not without pain.
It comes with many surprises. Commitment is not without a cost. But it’s a price worth paying for a life worth living.
Question – If you’re married, what advice would you give to those about to commit to starting the journey of their lives? If you are single, what thoughts/questions would you have? Please share in Comments.
About Author: Joseph leads on purpose and is passionate about raising the next generation of leaders. He is the author of 3 books: SELAH – a 90 day day devotional, Even in the Well and a free eBook Lines of Impact. He lives in Germany with his wife and daughter. You can connect with him on Twitter @J_Iregbu, and his JosephIregbu.com.
Dating, courting, engaged to be married or newly married? Learn how God wired you for sexual intimacy in marriage so you can feel close to your husband and enjoy love making! The Wedding Night: Embracing Sexual Intimacy in Marriage is no-fluff, down-to-earth book to help the newly married and engaged woman become sexually confident in marriage. Plus it teaches you how to keep sex fabulous beyond the newlywed years! Buy the book Kindle I Paperback I Nook I PDF