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Why do pastors struggle to support abuse victims? The church is supposed to be a pillar of truth and refuge for the hurting. But quite often, faith spaces are a thorn to the suffering and a comfort to perpetrators. Many churches are unsafe for those fleeing abusive relationships and environments.1 So how can pastors who…
Married Christian, just because your marriage weathered high conflict doesn’t mean every couple with high conflict can address their specific problems and have a good marriage. The longer I’m in this space, the more I see Christians pulling from their personal experience in a high-conflict marriage and claiming all marriage hardship can be addressed and resolved. They might say…
Does God require our suffering? High-control, works-based Christianity says our faith is not legitimate if it’s not accompanied by struggle or drudgery. Expressions like “the price of the anointing” “salvation is free, but the anointing is not”1 might not be familiar to all Christians, but those with evangelical/fundamentalist/conservative roots are super familiar. The “God requires suffering to bring…
Today’s our 15th wedding anniversary. We started our marriage journey with one person allergic to difficult convos and the other attracted to them like a moth to a flame. Suffice it to say, it was a bumpy couple of years. When I created Intentional Today as a marriage blog many years ago, I aimed to…
A few days ago, I was on a Facebook Live with Called to Peace Ministries, where we discussed my blog post, Shiny Happy People, an African American Perspective. If you haven’t read the blog post, please do so first so you have a good foundation for where I’m about to go. When I talk about…
They said “marriage is a mirror.” That the state of your marriage is a reflection of God’s love and engagement and you will know your devotion to Him by your dedication to your marriage. They told you we discern God’s blessings on people based on how well their marriage is doing. And they meant the…