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How do you plan for the new year when planning leaves you exhausted mentally and emotionally? I’m typing this a few days after Christmas. I’m happy. And depleted. The holidays can be complicated. We had my husband’s side of family visiting from out of state. Their gentle presence was exactly what my soul needed: good…
A few days ago, a male content creator shared about the criticism he receives from fellow men when he addresses poor behavior by men without caveats. According to his critics, adding “not all men” or “some men” in his commentary would make it clear to everyone that he’s not referring to all man/not all men…
Sometimes in evangelical churches, people are a means to an end. Pastors approach pastoring from a numbers or “growth” perspective. Instead of a shepherd-who-CARES-and-NURTURES-people mindset. I spent years in a high-demand, high-control church in Kenya (where I’m from), a church plant by an American missionary couple. One thing that was always in short supply in…
Recently, I saw post about suffering and the author argued how people suffer “because they choose suffering” and stay stuck “because they decided to stay stuck.” It’s not the first time I’ve seen the argument. Today I want to share some thoughts on it. Right out of the gate, I want to state that I…
I wish those who think I’m hard on marriage could read the messages I receive or spend time in the comments on my (and other advocates’) social media and blogs. I wish all Christians could understand the profound impact of coercion and dominance: How intimate partner terrorism wrecks the mind, soul, and body, and the…
Why do pastors struggle to support abuse victims? The church is supposed to be a pillar of truth and refuge for the hurting. But quite often, faith spaces are a thorn to the suffering and a comfort to perpetrators. Many churches are unsafe for those fleeing abusive relationships and environments.1 So how can pastors who…