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Last week on Instagram, I had a couple of people argue against Christians divorcing for abuse reasons. I engaged with one Commenter in particular but later changed my mind and deleted the thread as it became clear the winding discourse was not helpful, especially for readers in coercive/violent marriages. Victims and survivors already receive enough…
What if bad dating Christian advice is keeping women single? (Who want to be married.) In their new book, She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self, and Speaking, authors Sheila Wray Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, and Joanna Sawatsky talk about bad dating outcomes. “When we talk about *bad dating outcomes,” we often…
Is my marriage healthy? I’ve interacted with individuals who believed it is an overreaction to explore whether a marriage is safe or not. They believed no marriage would survive if we all analyzed power and control dynamics or unchanging negative habits in marriage. That no spouse would survive such deep levels of scrutiny. I believe…
Helping women in abusive marriages: does unclear language or presenting opposing ideas when speaking into a harmful situation keep women spinning their wheels in abuse? I believe it does. Based on some conversations I’ve had online, some people believe God can change anyone, including hardhearted harmful people. And so, to them, it’s essential to hold space…
A few years ago, I wrote, “a great marriage is made up of two people who consistently put their vows before their feelings.” I have since changed my mind. Sometime last year, a reader asked if I still stood by the statement above. My answer: there’s a lot I wish I could unsay because I’ve…
Character issues in marriage: Many women find themselves in marriages where a spouse is deeply wounding or immature, or proud but won’t address these individual character issues. Or the spouse says they are “working on it,” but the wife never really sees the long-term fruit of that work. She wants to know what’s going on,…