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“Don’t take marriage advice from divorced people.” If you are Christian, you’ve probably heard the words or some variation of the same. It’s a common belief in Christian circles, that to divorce is to automatically be biased against all relationships. Thus, the advice runs, one of the best things married people can do to…
Some Christians, especially those of the evangelical/fundamentalist flavor (of which I was a part), believe God is obsessive. Directly taught or implied, we are taught that our connection to God is less about relationship and more about keeping to the rules, restrictions and commands of the Divine. To be clear, I don’t believe “obsessive” is…
Last week on Instagram, I had a couple of people argue against Christians divorcing for abuse reasons. I engaged with one Commenter in particular but later changed my mind and deleted the thread as it became clear the winding discourse was not helpful, especially for readers in coercive/violent marriages. Victims and survivors already receive enough…
What if bad dating Christian advice is keeping women single? (Who want to be married.) In their new book, She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self, and Speaking, authors Sheila Wray Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, and Joanna Sawatsky talk about bad dating outcomes. “When we talk about *bad dating outcomes,” we often…
Is my marriage healthy? I’ve interacted with individuals who believed it is an overreaction to explore whether a marriage is safe or not. They believed no marriage would survive if we all analyzed power and control dynamics or unchanging negative habits in marriage. That no spouse would survive such deep levels of scrutiny. I believe…
Does unclear language or presenting opposing ideas when speaking into a harmful situation keep women spinning their wheels in abuse? I believe it does. Based on some conversations I’ve had online, some people believe God can change anyone, including hardhearted harmful people. And so, to them, it’s essential to hold space for change, even as…