It’s tough to be a single mom in a world of married women.
Today, I am excited to host a single mom, Ciruu Kiniti to share her experience as a single mom in a world of married women. More about Ciruu at the end of the post.
I recently attended a married friend’s baby shower and as expected, the shower was honored by the presence of many married women.
Only myself (and a friend I had dragged along) were single moms.
As I listened to the married women experiences, it came out that most of them had their husbands present at the hospital during the delivery of their babies.
I found myself wondering if they knew how fortunate they were to have their husbands with them in that very vulnerable, yet very miraculous moment.
(Some even had their mothers-in-law with them!)
At that point, I went back to my hospital delivery, 7 years before.
Alone, scared and almost overwhelmed by circumstances, I found myself on that hospital bed anxiously waiting for what was about to transpire.
You see, unlike my friend, no one had told me what to expect.
Because my journey was riddled with battles of getting pregnant in church and unwed.
I did not have a spouse to hold my hand as I lay there, staring at the ceiling, between contractions.
Being my first child, I longed for someone to be there with me.
Do married women know how good they have it?
Do they even know how honored they are? I asked myself as I listened to the women share.
They talk as if it’s a right, having a man beside them.
But right there the Holy Spirit spoke to me. And gently reminded me that these women were entitled to have their spouses with them through the process.
You see, as a single mom it is sometimes easy to think married women have it better than us. Oh the many times I thought that!
I have often asked myself if “these women” really knew how blessed they were to have men in their lives.
For a long time I battled with feelings of envy and a constant wish of “if only they knew how hard it is for us single moms”.
I haven’t had the opportunity of interacting with many married women, maybe because I feel drawn to my own kind. Or maybe sometimes I feel that they won’t “get me”.
But at that baby shower, the Holy Spirit quieted my spirit and allowed me to see things from their perspective.
The reality of being a married woman
Married women have their own challenges too; they juggle being mothers, wives, friends and lovers.
They have to pay detailed attention and learn how to balance their children and their husbands and the daily life. Me-time is as rare and foreign, as it is to us single moms.
That day, as I sat there and listened to their experiences, I realized that the presence of their spouses might have been comforting (well, to some).
But the honest truth was the birthing experience was the same as it was for me, the single mom. So to the married women out there here is a single’s mom salute to you; I do not know how you do it but by the grace of God!
Are married women advantaged over single moms?
Do I feel more advantaged than the married woman? Of course not.
The Holy Spirit used that baby shower to demonstrate to me that no one is at a “better” place than the other. We all have challenges at different levels and while one may think the other has it easier, it’s not necessarily true.
Single moms have the grace to carry them through. Just like married women have sufficient grace to carry them through.
As always, let’s learn to run our race till we see His face! 1 Corinthians 9: 12
Question: Do YOU believe His grace is sufficient to carry YOU through every situation? Please share your thoughts and experience in Comments.
About Author: Ciruu Kiniti is a single mum, who is passionate about running the race God has called her to run. She is passionate about encouraging older singles and single moms to live life by God’s design with emphasis on purity and a daily focus on Jesus. Visit her blog for more inspiration and encouragement.
Image: Bethany Beck via Unsplash