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A few years ago, I wrote, “a great marriage is made up of two people who consistently put their vows before their feelings.” I have since changed my mind. Sometime last year, a reader asked if I still stood by the statement above. My answer: there’s a lot I wish I could unsay because I’ve…
Character issues in marriage: Many women find themselves in marriages where a spouse is deeply wounding or immature, or proud but won’t address these individual character issues. Or the spouse says they are “working on it,” but the wife never really sees the long-term fruit of that work. She wants to know what’s going on,…
Anyone else wonders what would happen if women (and men!) came to their own, pushed back against abusive theology and lived out the authentic Christ-centered gospel? I think some churches would empty out. What saddens me about spiritual manipulation, control, and awful theology is how the path to health and wholeness is labeled harmful. Those…
Healthy vs. unhealthy spouse: how do you differentiate? I often hear how hard it is to distinguish between good and bad marriages. Married people struggle to discern if their spouse is actually trying to do better or if they have settled into routines of irresponsibility, entitlement, neglect, addictions, and other harmful/unhealthy patterns. Today, I want…
It looks like I’ll keep taking about “prayer for abusers” because the comments keep coming. A few days ago, I wrote about how God does not force people to change and how prayer is not the be-all and end-all for repentance, personal growth or change. And I want to build on those thoughts and explore…
I’m just wondering why some Christians spend so much time disempowering women. Why is it so important that women are small and men are big? Bookmark the thought: I’m from the Kikuyu tribe, one of the 42 main tribes of Kenya. As a tribe, we have an origin story (close to the Judeo-Christian of Adam…